IM HAPPY ALL THE TIME; phan

Dance feelings.

A newspaper article, and a cup of black coffee. Both are bitter.

I look up from one article and see Phil slipping on his shirt for the night out. The curtains are partly drawn and there's a faint whistle tune coming from Phil's lips- it's in a cinematic melody that I recognize.

The lights are dim, the the light shining from the city creeps into the room and wraps itself around the furniture and walls. The shadows draw designs on Phil's cheekbones, and his eyes reflect the stars. His skin becomes the centerpiece of a very dramatic light show.

He cuffs his silver watch on his wrist, and it almost shoots fireworks into my eyes from being so shiny. He twirls around and glides his hand on the chair as he walks by.

There's yellow, and there's darker colors that open the world's mouth and has it singing backup vocals for his humming.

Piano keys are twirling, and we're in a cab. The radio is scratchy, but keeps its tune by playing off as a vinyl record.

There's more lights that shine on him, but most of them shine through me. He's an expensive canvas, and I almost felt like damaged, torn computer paper. He has 'moonlight prince' written on him in elegant calligraphy, and I have 'afternoon ripoff' typed on me in boring Calibri. If that doesn't describe how he looks and how I do, then I really don't understand what will.

He was the biggest star in light years, and I had been the star that you stop watching just to go watch him- and if I was being honest, I didn't even care. I wanted everyone to go look at him, and appreciate him.

Not because I liked him, but because he's the one who deserves it the most.

He helps me out of the cab, and there is people whispering on the streets. They're swaying to the music inside as if it was the 90's all over again.

The girls are dressed to impress, and are slow dancing all the way to the exits.

"Is this prom?" I elbow Phil in the arm, and he scoffs. "Of course not. If it was prom, I'd have asked you a week in advance." 

The pink creeps up on my face and I stay quiet all the way to the front door. Looking around, it reminds me of all my school dances and how they all resembled this. 

There's always a group of girls dancing with each other, and boys drinking on the wall. You can't forget the boyfriends who regret asking their girlfriends because they didn't show up. There's punch, and beer, and cupcakes, and about 400 people cramped in a ballroom.

Pj and Cat wave at us from a corner, and Phil disappears as soon as I turn around to tell him. He's gone somewhere through the tidal waves of all the teens. I try to lift my head to see him, but he's been swept away.

They come rushing over to us, and they both have dates. I don't recognize cat with all of that makeup, and I don't recognize myself being in this ballroom.

The place we're in has this gallery-type of feel. There are lights shining from the ceiling and big art pieces on the walls. It's a shame such a trashy event is being held in such a beautiful room.

I get a kick in my stomach when I finally find Phil, because he's on the benches.

A song comes on in the room, and I can;t help but feel sorry for myself because everyone moving at once.

Everyone rushes towards their dates, and sweep them off the floor to slow dance along with the rhythm. Pj runs with his date, and Cat is nowhere to be seen.

I start to feel bad for Phil. He's the only one sitting alone, awkwardly looking around and fumbling with his thumbs.

I get a tense feeling, and only realize I'm walking until I go up the bench steps.

I look down at Phil, and he looks back up. "M-may I have this dance?" I gulp, and he looks terrified. I leave out my hand for him to take, and he does.

I lead him over to the floor, and he puts his hand on my waist, while I put mine on his shoulder. Our hands are clasped together in a firm hold, and we're swaying from side to side as the song plays.

I never would have thought there were other people in the ballroom, because everything seemed so quiet. It was just me, him, and the music.

The lights are faded, and the music is the only thing between us. Everyone around us ceases to exist, and it's us.

He spins me, and as I'm turning, his eyes seem lighter. They're round and blue and extravagant. They're light and bright and I just wanna...

I lean my head in, and carefully watch his lips as he notices me. He leans in halfway, and it's so close.. I just have to lift my head.

CRASH!

I let my eyes wander to the noise, and Phil lets go of my hand. It's truly a loss.

Someone spilled something in the punch and half of the girls are passed out on the floor. There are police everywhere and It's hard to imagine that we were too busy staring at each other's eyes to notice a team of policemen barge in through the door.

One of the men unplugs the big stereo and all the music in the ballroom drains out. 

Complete silence. 

It was a scary experience, as they went around and picked out possible victims. Obviously I didn't look like the type to commit such a crime, but Phil did.

They took him for a spare minute to talk and he came back in a few minutes.

"What did they ask you?" I put down my phone. "Basics. Alibi."

"What was your alibi?" 

He takes a second to eye me up and down and look away, blushing pink. It's not hard to understand why.

"Hey. It's been a long night, wanna head back?" He nudges my arm. I smile, then nod lightly.

-

I turn the key to the room and step in.

5 paces towards the bed, and I feel a hard shove from behind. I turn back and Phil rests his weight on my side.

"Get some sleep, bear."

"What did you say?"

"I said get some sleep, Dan."

"Of course you did." I say, flicking off the lights.