summer camp.

12

Millies pov

✧

"Is that too hot?"

I stared into the water for a moment, completely ignoring Sadie's question. I ran my fingers against the side of the tub and trailed my hand down. My hand emerged into the warm water, but for some reason I couldn't help but shiver at the touch.

"It feels nice" I said.

"Uh okay...um do you need help taking your-"

"I got it Sadie".

I was hesitant, not knowing the extent to my injuries myself, and I didn't want Sadie seeing anything and breaking down into tears.

"Sadie why don't you leave. I got this".

She looked at me blankly for a second. I thought she was going to cry again, but she crouched down and sat on the wood floor next to me.

"Millie...".

"...Sadie?"

"Let me help" she said sternly. I took a deep breath, giving in because she's a good friend and I didn't feel like arguing with her. I started to remove my shirt, pulling from the bottom up. My arms ached and having them over my head somehow made them feel worse. Once I got it off, Sadie came back into my view. She was crying again.

"Don't cry Sadie...don't you dare cry". I was now tearing up to.

"Millie look at you-".

"Sadie I have eyes".

She just stared at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked crushed and I was pretending she didn't. I didn't want her to be upset, I didn't want anyone to he upset. I just wanted to pretend like this didn't happen.

I tucked my legs in covering my chest from her view and sat my head on the top of my knees.

"Millie-"

"Stop saying my god damn name! Stop acting like i'm a fucking hurt puppy! Just get the fuck out and leave me alone!". I didn't realize how loud I said it, until I could practically feel the walls vibrating.

"Millie you don't mean that". She was crying hard now. I didn't mean to yell at her, I wasn't even mad at her. She was just trying to help. I looked up and locked eyes with her.

"I'm- Im sorry" I choked out.

"It's okay just- get undressed so you can take a bath".

I nodded, before standing up and finishing getting undressed.

I tried to block out the next twenty minutes of bathing. I didn't want to look at myself and I just wanted to sleep...and be with Finn.

After I was done and Sadie helped me out, I wrapped towel around myself and saw my reflection in the mirror.

It wasn't me. This wasn't me. I would never look like this. The old me would have never allowed for this to happen.

"Millie don't cry again. Finn...he'll cry and then you'll cry harder and- yeah just let's clothes".

I nodded as Sadie opened the door, walking out. I sat on the edge of the tub looking down at my feet. I heard the door open again.

"Sadie I-". I looked up and choked on the air I had breathed in.

I stared at him in disbelief.