Tyler's Surrender

Psychosocial

Jackson

I was not ready.

Absolutely not ready for this.

Kira was in labor.

And that meant that Tyler and I were going to be parents soon. In a matter of hours.

I wasn't sure that I was ready to be a daddy. What if I dropped the baby? Or made the bottle too hot? What if the baby grew up to hate me?

Tyler had felt the same panic but his had depleted the moment he heard a heartbeat and similarly with each appointment that we had attended, I felt my fear lessen but not completely disappear. Trace kept assuring me that our parenting instincts would kick in the moment we laid eyes on our child.

Ours.

Something had kicked in the last few weeks while we had shopped for baby items - gender neutral for the most part - and both Trace and I had laid claim on this child. He or she was ours, mine. No matter how uncertain or terrified I was about not being a good parent, I knew that I loved our baby without a doubt.

And Tyler, well, there was no doubt in my mind that he would make a terrific father. I had seen him interact with the children of both packs once we had finished the school house. His original plan had been expanded upon once our mating had been made official - now a fully functioning six room school with ten teachers and one aid per grade at any given time. The day the school was opened Tyler made it a festival of sorts he had disappeared after the opening, making me curious as to where he had gone. Ten minutes into my semi-frantic search I had found him (all six and a half feet of him) playing dolls with group of little girls in the sandbox. He didn't care about getting his new clothes dirty, nor did he care about the curious looks some people were throwing his age. He just delved right into the world of make believe with the girls, even making his voice high pitched as his doll complained about her shoes not matching her handbag. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen in my life.

"You okay there, sweetheart? You're looking kinda pale." My mother's voice was a but of a surprise, I hadn't expected her nor my dad to show up until after the baby was born. Now that they were here I was extremely grateful. Her small hand covered mine briefly only to pull away and rest on my Mate's -- who, at the moment, looked a little nervous. This surprised me. Through most of the ordeal Tyler had been the calm one. 

"Yes ma'am, I'm alright." My mother rolled her brown eyes at Tyler, smiling lightly at his shocked stare. She sat beside him swiftly, not bothering to save room for my dad who looked a bit peeved to not have his Mate's full attention. Her hand slipped from the tip of his to his cloth coveted bicep, where her dainty hand squeezed lightly.

"We've talked about this Tyler, call me mom, call me Tora, don't call me ma'am, baby. You're family." Silence echoed through the waiting room and for a moment, I was worried about how he would react to her final words. Tyler had never had family, not a real one anyway. After a few minutes of nothing but breathing, softly Tyler took my mother's hand in his and whispered a soft thank you, his gorgeous eyes dancing with un-shed tears.

My heart clenched.

My soul ached for the loss that Tyler had suffered -- he'd never truly gotten to be young and he'd never experienced the love of parents. He was never going to know what it was like to have his parents be angry at him for waking them up at three am with a drunken call, but be so received that he hadn't driven home that they didn't ground him. He would never hear baby stories of himself or get to be embarrassed by photo albums.

At that moment, as my head laid on his strong shoulder, I swore that our child would know exactly what it was to be loved by us. There would never be doubt or questioning.

Tyler and I were going to be parents, and suddenly as his hand landed on my thigh and I realized that were were in this together, that thought didn't scare me anymore.

Tyler

My back hurt from sitting in an awkward position in these tiny plastic chairs but I wasn't going to voice my discomfort, not while I could still hear Kira's screams from earlier ringing in our ears. Jackson was slumped over in his chair, head rested on my shoulder as he drooled a little onto my shirt, causing me to smile. I would have to remember to let that dry before waking him up or he'd be mortified.

Sean and Tora were talking over in the corner, smiling softly at one another every few seconds - I'm sure they were remembering their son's birth at the moment. A pain struck me in the chest as I wondered if my parents had ever felt that way. Had they ever looked back fondly of the day I was born and smiled, tearing up as they remembered how little I used to be? Had there ever been a point where they had looked at me and wished for just a moment that they could freeze time? I doubted it and knew it was pointless to wonder about such things. It would only lead to heartache and bad memories. I felt Jackson stir against my shoulder but didn't bother to look down, he'd sleep until they called us back.

Which hopefully wouldn't be too much longer.

*

Twenty minutes or two house later, I wasn't sure, but I was waking up to the sensation of a strangerts hand on my arm. Blinking back fuzziness, I peered into a pair of delighted green eyes.

Doctor Shelby.

My hand squeezed Jackson's a few times suddenly, soft words of encouragement accompanying them in oder to wake him up. The moment his gorgeous brown eyes opened then widened as he looked at the good doctor, I grinned.

"Alphas, would you like to come meet your child?"

*
Small little fists clenched tightly together, a perfect bow shaped mouth gaped. A tiny pert nose peeked from a beautiful cherub face. Startling green eyes were the first things we saw as the baby opened its eyes... but, she didn't see us.

Doctor Shelby informed us that our little girl was blind, likely from a lack of development. She was perfectly healthy otherwise. Had all ten fingers and toes, her hearing was perfect. Lungs were healthy.

My eyes connected with Jackson's and I felt a peace settle over me I had never quite felt.

They are your gift, my love.

Goosebumps littered my skin. The Goddess had blessed me immensely. Our little Saranya, or Sara for short, would never see, but she was perfect. 

**Saranya means "surrender", and I found it particularly fitting because I wanted her to be called 'Sara' after Tora's mother. Hope y'all enjoyed!