You've been friends with Jean Kirstein since you were infants. Your mothers had been friends since childhood. You've shared each other’s laughter as well as each other's pain. You both swore that you would make it into the military police. Only one of you made that dream a reality. Jean.
Though you were disappointed in yourself, you were proud of him. You knew that he was always meant to succeed in getting what he wanted, and he did just that. It also meant that he would live safely behind wall Sina. He would be safe from the horrors you would face. You loved him, and you wanted to make him proud by doing your best when you decided to join Eren in the scouts. Then, the breach of wall Rose had struck.
Hundreds of lives had been lost. The life of Marco Bodt, a good soldier and close friend of both you and Jean, had been lost. You both were devastated, but you forced yourself to be strong for Jean. You were there for him at his lowest, helping him get back on his feet with the will to survive. You were his rock, but only as a friend.
Through thick and thin, you stayed by his side. You embraced every moment you had with him, even if it had caused you pain. Everyone else around you knew that you loved the golden eyed showboat, yet he remained completely oblivious. He had no idea just how much it pained you to listen to him talk about Mikasa. He was ignorant to the countless times you've watched in heartbreak as he made every attempt to catch her eye. You were nothing more than a sister to him. He still saw you as the little girl he grew up with, not the woman you had become.
It was dinner time, and you were seated across from him as he glared at Eren, “arrogant hot head. His head is so far up the corporal’s ass with all this titan crap…. What does she even see in him?”
You tensed, knowing that he was about to rant about his one sided affections for the stunning ravenette. You like Mikasa. She was a strong soldier, and a loyal friend to Eren when he needed someone most. She was everything you wished you could be, especially in the eyes of the brunette across from you. Sighing in defeat you pushed the slop they called food around your plate, refusing to answer him out of fear of what you would say.
“I mean… He is going to get us all killed, and for some reason… her entire world revolves around him! It's ridiculous! I am right here, willing and ready to do anything for her, and… nothing!”
Your jaw clenches as tears sting your eyes. You knew just how he felt, clouding your mind with envy, “it's true. You are right here… Sometimes people lack the ability to see what's right in front of them. They don't see how the person who loves them and needs them most is right there waiting, but instead choose to want someone who doesn't understand the lengths their willing to go to see that person happy.”
“Right? Try telling her that! I mean, I've done everything I can to gain her attention and she just continues to blow me off for that freak!”
Rage and heartache ripped through you, making a dark aura surround you as you slammed your hands on the table. Your shaded eyes were separated from his shocked hues by your hair that had fallen into your face, “I was talking about you, idiot! She doesn't want you! Get the hell over it!”
You were angry, but your body began to shake from how embarrassed you were. You had gained the attention of everyone in the room, making the room unbearable to be in. Grabbing your untouched food, you dropped it on the table before Sasha as you stormed out of the mess hall. You couldn't believe that you had snapped at Jean like that. You knew his feelings didn't match your own, but now you doubted your friendship could ever be the same again. All that was left to do was to find someplace to be alone while you released all the pent up anger and heartbreak.
Jean hadn't moved from his spot, staring in shock at the doorway where you had disappeared. Ever since you were kids, you have never raised your voice to him. You have at Jeager when he talked down to Jean, or at Reiner when he would make an attempt to hit on you… but never did you raise your voice to him. In truth, he wasn't entirely sure what he had done to make you snap, or how to handle the fact that you actually did.
