Little Miss Teen Magazine #1

Sent In Story - They broke my circle.

They broke my circle.

Ever since the start of fourth grade, this girl called Mary and I were best friends. I vaguely remember a tall, dark girl coming up to me and asking if I had a sister. The rest is all a blur, but from then on, we were best friends. Nothing could change that. But I didn't count on what was about to happen.

At the start of fifth grade, we were still best friends. After a while, things started to change. Mary started to hang around with two other girls, Deshka and Elene. This gave me uncomfortable feelings, since Elene and myself were deadly enemies, and so was Deshka, even though we had been best friends in third grade.

Now, every recess and lunch was a nightmare. Like a shy duck, I would follow the three everywhere. They told me I was their friend, but I never really was accepted into their ‘group.' I hated this feeling of neglect that I carried round with me so often.

An online argument between me and Mary erupted, and we were suddenly enemies. Some of the emails that we sent each other were horribly insulting at the time, but are now amusing: messages such as ‘you are a wannabe Barbie' make me explode with laughter.

At the end of fifth grade, we were still enemies. Summer came and then it was time for middle school. As I had predicted, we were in the same class. I hadn't expected a welcome back, so I got the shock of my life when Mary came up to me and started chattering away as if we were best friends. I realized we were best friends again. The happiness inside me fizzed up, and I couldn't help grinning.

But this happiness was short-lived. At around Christmas-time, she started becoming friendly with two girls: Joselyn, the class nerd and brainiac, and Ellie, who was, in my opinion, a wanna-be popular Barbie. At the same time, a new family arrived in town. There were two twins around my age who went into the class above me. Josh was fun, but I was more interested in Heather. On the first day that I met her, we were both extremely shy and we barely talked.

Meanwhile, back at school I was ignored and shoved out of the way. All of the other girls in my class had their own cliques and friends, so I hung out with Heather. Things were still rocky with Mary.

I remember one evening, Mary and I were instant messaging each other. I dared to ask, "Are we still best friends?" I knew I shouldn't have asked, but it was too late.

"No," came the reply. My heart felt as if it had hit the floor.

"So is Joselyn your best friend now?" I held my breath as I waited for the answer.

"Yeah," came the reply. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I simply continued the conversation as if nothing had happened.

A few months later, she broke up with them, and we were suddenly best friends yet again. I didn't know if this was a trick or not but I went along with it. Then next thing I knew, it was summer.... Next stop, seventh grade.

When I phoned her up after vacation, she sounded so enthusiastic. She literally screamed my name with joy. When I went round to her house before school started, she gave me a huge hug. We planned our typical day in class and laughed at jokes together. Our relationship was stronger than it had ever been before. I was blissfully ignorant of what was soon to come.

We were in the same class as sixth grade, and this time a new girl arrived: Sona. I made friends with Sona when she was lonely and had no friends. Mary hated her and did not like the fact that I was her friend. We had a small argument, and then things were back to normal.

After Christmas I contracted conjunctivitis. Suddenly, Mary started to ignore me. I was continually isolated from everyone, and I was considered a nasty contagious bug. Mary turned against me and started being pally with Sona. I was always ignored. I began to think bad thoughts of myself, thoughts like "Geez, was I really that bad as her best friend?" We lost communication. When we had to send emails, they were brief to the point of unfriendliness.

I remember one occasion at school when she had a ‘private' talk to me. As usual, Sona followed. I frowned. It was none of her business! As Mary rambled on about dancing club, I felt tears prick at the back of my eyes. I hated the way Sona stood there listening to every word. I wanted to shout and scream at her for listening into my private issues.

"Right, OK. Fine," I said when Mary had finished. Then I dashed out onto the field and cried out of misery and anger.

I decided to send her an email, but when she replied the worst came. "Sorry, but Sona is my best friend now..." The email continued, but I didn't want to read any more. I felt as though an iron fist had punched me in the stomach. I felt the familiar tears pricking at the back of my eyes. I lowered my head so no one would see my watery eyes. I hastily shut down my computer and then dashed upstairs where I sat on my bed and howled.

All I could think was "What have I done to make her dislike me?" I racked my memory, but nothing came to me. Shrugging it off, I continued with my life. Mary never took any notice of me. Her friends were now people she had disliked when she was my best friend. It was like my worst nightmare come true. I asked her why she ignored me, but she simply said it was time for change. In my head my thoughts were all crashing into each other. "Time for change?! What is she talking about?" I thought.

Then we had an enormous fight online. Some of the messages we sent each other were rude in the extreme. Although I won't repeat the messages, I can say that after that fight, we both hated each other. This time, I knew it was final. She had her own best friend now, but somehow… I didn't care. She had done this tactic too many times before. I wasn't about to let her play around with me again.

I actually felt relieved to have told her all that I was thinking while I was going through this. I felt as if a huge burden had been released from me. I was happy that the worst was over. This time, I just shrugged and accepted the fact that we would never be best friends again. After all, who needs one more friend who is rude and disloyal?

I have my own friends now, and Heather is my good friend. I hang out with people from the other seventh grade class. I have my best friends in Scotland and my best friend in Qatar, and I realize that even though the circle is broken, I still hold many more that will never break.

by Helen, age 13