The Idiocy of Life (GirlxGirl)

1. 10 Minutes

Thanks again! Hope you enjoy! As of 12/17/17 I edited and added things.

1.

I was 10 minutes from the Licking Bridge. Within 10 minutes I will be dead.

In 10 minutes I will be a body at the bottom of the ravine with a bullet in my head.

You can never be too sure.

I wish my mind was corrupting with my plans for tonight. I wish my mind was counting the minutes. I wish this could all be over.

But, all I could think about was Alice Cook's 14th birthday party.

Yep, Alice Cook, the girl who is some druggie and dropped out of school.

I find it eccentric how people change within a course of a few years. I wonder how much I have changed since that day.

That was the first day I kissed a girl. Her name was Melody Stern; she was gorgeous.

It was a beautiful, sunny day and we were sitting under the oldest orange tree in the field.

Alice's party was taking place several yards away, her little cousins taring out the roses- and her and her friends trying out her new iPhone...but it was too mundane. Too ordinary. Too much existing and not living.

So, Melody and I left-chasing the sun over the hill.

We get bored often, but never when we were together.

I remember how the light caught the red tint in her hair and danced on her eyelashes and tanned her pale skin.

I remember the way her lips were sour from homemade lemonade but had a sweet layer of watermelon chapstick.

I remember the feeling.

The sense of warmth that spread through my body and caused my heart to beat a million times a minute.

I remember the excitement and the thrill.

But I can't remember the feeling of joy.

I'm so lost in my own world of depression that the idea that I was ever full of joy has become nothing but a nonexistent thought.

We dated in secret, like many light-hearted middle schoolers not prepared for the horrors of High school.

I told her I loved her one day.

She said it back.

I remember thinking that one day we will get married, despite our communities anti-gay ideas. We will change the world.

We will defy all odds.

Together, I was sure of it.

Except there was one odd Melody couldn't face. Cancer.

A few weeks later she ended up in the hospital.

She had a brain tumor. And no more than a month later she died.

I didn't cry. Not once. I didn't cry when I heard. Or at her funeral. I didn't cry when I received a box of girlfriend trinkets.

Because I never saw her cry, she believed that crying proves your weak. And why would I cry in disrespect?

After that...I never kissed a girl again.

Sure I made out with some boys and dated this senior two years ago. But never a girl.

And I never will.

Because I am going to the Licking Bridge to die.

She was the one who found the Licking Bridge.