The bad boy is my saviour

chapter-12 panic attack

*WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAIN SOME TRIGGER WARNINGS *

*CATHYS POV *

I woke up but not like most days. Today i woke up like if my depression had come back but triple the size.
I prayed that this was never going to happen but i guess i didnt pray hard enough.

I got out of bed and made my way to my bathroom. The urge to cut was strong and i couldn't hold back any longer.

I dont really know why i had the feeling but it just seems to happen. It like an alcoholic, they need to have drugs. Well its like im addicted and cant stop. I need to have and feel the pain going through my wrist.

After 10 cuts later i cleaned up my mess and headed back to my room to pick out my clothes for hel-school.

I wasn't in the mood to wear anything nice today so i just stuck with my black lazy sweater and grey shorts, i also added my nike hat and shoes.

*Cathys outfit *

I headed downstairs and picked up my backpack and headed out the door.

Stefan already left for school an hour ago so he couldn't drive me so that ment i had to go walking.

When i reached school i didnt see ashely at the entrance, maybe she was sick. I thought.

I entered the school and headed to my locker. I waited for freddy to come up to me and say good morning but he never did. I guess he's sick too. Great.

After boring classes and a lonely lunch i only had one period to go P.E, oh how i hated it.

We were starting volleyball and to be honest i wasn't at all that good.
When it was my turn to serve the ball i tried my best to hit it over the net but failed. My team was mostly made up of all the popular kids, they didnt like to lose and me not hitting it over the net got them mad.  

After the game was over i was headed to get my jacket of the floor when i got pushed from behind. I fell on my face making me bite my lip in the process. I turned around to be faced with the kids in my team.

Apparently my little mistake had caused us to lose by one point which wasn't good.

One of the blond girls in the team slapped me straight on the cheek causing me head to turn, yup that was gonna sting later.

"YOU BITCH WE LOST AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"

"YEAH YOU PATHETIC LOSER THANKS A LOT".

They kept screaming words that i couldn't understand very well because i was to distracted from the kicks flying to my stomach and punches headed towards my face. I knew i was going to be in pain tomorrow.

After a while they stopped and left me lying on the gym floor. School had already ended so i was just lying there holding my stomach from the pain that had been sent to my body.

I weakly got up and grabbed my things and headed to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the bathroom and saw the destruction that i had just accounted.

My lip was busted opened and my eye was swollen with a black bruise under it. I had a cut on my eyebrow and was bleeding uncontrollably. I didnt know i was crying until i saw the hot wet tears streaming down my face.

Why did this have to happen to me. Why couldn't i just be like the other girls. Why did i have to have this life. I search in my backpack and finally found what i needed the most, my blade.

That first cut was the start of something i would never control ever again. Once i start i can't end it.

My arm was now covered in red lines going up to my shoulder. I stayed there for a couple of minutes until i got up and washed myself up and cleaned my mess. I got my things and started heading home.

I was walking down the sidewalk when it then started to rain. Could my day get any worse, i thought.

The water soaked my now wet clothes and hair making my shoes wet as well. The cold rain felt good against my newly freash cuts making a small smile spread to my face.

Once i made it to the house i saw Stefan was still not home so i guess he went to hang out with his friends or Arely. Dad was probualy out drinking or hanging out with friends, but who was i to care.

I dropped my backpack on the stairs and headed to my room. Once i got to my room i checked my phone and saw i had 30 missed calls and 100 text messages from freddy. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone especially him so i put my phone on my desk and layed in bed. I didnt bother to change into dry clothes because i was already falling into a deep sleep.   

A/N hopefully you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it was short ive been having writers block for a while. Please don't forget to vote💗