Breathe in the Unsaid

Part 9

It was when I was about 10 years old. One day, when I had just gotten out of the shower, my mom came into my room with a hard plastic skipping rope. She came inside and locked the room door behind her. She beat me up with it and kept beating me till there was no part left on my body that was not covered in deep red marks.

Holy shit! Why did she do that?

Because I had stolen a candy bar from her cupboard and this was my punishment for it. Moreover, the time when this incident had happened, it was summers. The time of tops and shorts. It was nearly impossible to cover all the marks on my body. So obviously when I went to school or out to play, people would notice my scars and ask me how I got hurt and I was so stupid that in order to avoid any fingers being pointed to my mother, I lied like a good kid that I was supposed to be. I told them that I had tripped and fallen from my cycle and that's how I got my scars.

And they believed it?

I don't know. It didn't matter. Say they did find out that the reason behind my black and blue body was not from tripping off my cycle but the result of hardcore beating by my mom, what could they have even done about it? They would have brushed it off as just another "internal family issue".

All this for stealing a candy bar? That's ridiculous. 

Ha. Tell me about it.

Was it around this time when you started cutting your wrists?

Nah. That came many years later. I was too young to understand what was happening. I was in the I-need-to-prove-myself kind of phase. Little did I know that nothing I do will ever be worthy of any acknowledgement from my family. However, the first time when I started becoming suicidal was when I was about 13 years old.

Wow! That young?!

Yea. What about you?

I had always had a rough childhood to begin with but I guess what really triggered me to take drastic measures of self-harm was when I was in 10th std. Now don't laugh at me when I tell you the reason behind it, okay?

Don't tell me it was because of "love".

It was. 

O.M.G! Mr. Casanova was once truly in love. Tell me about it.

No, It's kind of personal .

P, you might not have another chance to tell anyone about it. So why not say it?

You are right. There is nothing left to loose. At least, not now. But I am only going to tell you this one time so you better pay attention. Deal?

Aye aye captain!

Ha ha. Well, this is how it goes.