Kisses of Insanity (Joe Sugg Fanfic)

"empty"

He was there, right in front of me. My fingers lingered over the towel around me as I stared at him in shock.

Joe smirked, staring at me with a hint of laughter in his eyes.

"You pervert!" I shouted, forcing him to turn around. "Don't you knock?!"

"Ashley told me you weren't home," he rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to-"

I was shocked.

"What?" I asked surprisingly. "She said I wasn't home?"

"Yeah, she was acting kind of weird when I asked her," he laughed.

I stood staring at the floor, lost in my own thoughts. Why would she tell him that?

"Yeah," I murmured. "Um, you should-"

He tilted his head, as if he were trying to read my feelings.

"I should what?" He asked, taking a step closer towards me.

I took a deep breath.

Is he always this cocky?

"Y-You should leave," I held my towel tighter over my body.

"Oh yeah?" He smirked. "Is that why you're still standing here?"

"Joe, I'm serious. You should go downstairs."

He sighed. "And why should I?"

"Because," I said, sighing. "You just have to, this is wrong. My best friend likes you, and I'm here trying to resist you, so just.. go."

He walked towards the door, and stopped when he reached it. Joe looked back at me one more time, and sadness was written all over him.

I hated doing this.

Our eyes met, and just when I thought he was going to say something.. he left.

I heard the front door close, and the first name that crept into the back of my mind was Joe. He actually left.

I sighed and put my clothes on, then went downstairs.

Something was off today, everything around me made me feel uncomfortable.

"Hey Ashley," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

She looked tired, mentally tired. Her hair was tied up into a quick messy bun, and her eyes had lost their sparkle, something's wrong.

"Listen-" she began.

"Why did you tell him I wasn't at home?" I asked, to quickly get it off my chest.

She looked down to the floor, her hair falling to the side. She looked up at me, speechless.

"Because," she said sadly, "he came here to see you.. and I, um. I'm sorry-"

I knew where this was going.

"You know you shouldn't have done that," I sighed, "I know you like him, but I'm your best friend."

"I know, I know," she roughly slid her hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, I really am. I just keep on getting this feeling he likes you, and honestly.. I think he does. He doesn't look at me the way he looks at you and whenever we hang out he's constantly asking about you. But I know you don't like him and even if you did you wouldn't date him because you've been rejecting guys for years ever since Alden."

I nodded, knowing that somewhere along the line my guilt was going to trip right through.

And I had to tell her.

"He told me.." I sighed. "He told me, um.."

I rolled my eyes, mentally hitting myself. Just say it Noelle.

"What did he tell you?" She asked.

"It's okay," I shook my head repeatedly, "Forget it, but Ashley.. do you like him? like really really like him?"

She stayed quiet for a while, looking around her. Then she nodded, and a smile curled up her lips.

"Yeah," she smiled. "I think I do."

I took a deep breath and prepared myself to tell the biggest lie of the year.

"That's good," I smiled.

Of course it is.

Yeah. Very good. Fantastic.

♡

Joe's P.O.V

It amazed me how you could lose something you never even had to begin with and still feel empty without it.

That's how I felt for the next few weeks.

Empty.

I was empty. Hollow. Lifeless. Call it whatever you want, it doesn't matter.

It just sucked.

The days blurred together. Everyday was an identical match of the other, and for some reason.. I still feel empty.

But I never knew why, even after all this time.

I could still feel her. I felt her presence haunting me, I saw her everywhere.

I shook my head, I have to bury my feelings in the depth of my heart and pretend I don't feel anything for her. It seems like pretending is the only thing I do these days.

I was on my way to Ashley's, for the third time this week.

She was different, from the second I met her I knew she saw more of me than just 'Joe Sugg.'

That's the reason I avoid dating fans, don't get me wrong, I love them all, they're family to me, but I just never thought it was a good idea to date someone who knows practically everything about you.

But Ashley wasn't like that, I mean, she knew a lot about me.. sure, but she didn't stop at that.

She wanted to know more, she wanted to meet the real me, the one behind the cameras.

Not the Joe Sugg that constantly pranks his best friend, not the one that makes videos every Sunday.. just me.

And I liked that about her. At that point, I thought I might have a chance with her, but when I saw Noelle..

Everything changed.

I've been chasing after her ever since that day I bumped into her in the hallway. And I can't seem to get enough of her, it's like she's a magnet.

Every time she pushes me away, she has me craving for more. Every time she puts her walls back up, I find myself climbing up them once again.

She drives me crazy.

Ugh, why am I thinking about her again? She obviously doesn't want me, she made that pretty clear when she told me to leave.

But she's right.

Leaving was the right choice.

"Hey Ash-"

I looked up and my eyes widened at the sight of her in front of me.

♡