I used this piece as an entry on LGBT+ MILESTONES and I decided to post this here.
I define good looks to be what initiates communication
Attraction is commonly aesthetic in nature, is it not?
In small talk may bud fondness
In fondness may bud friendship
For her, June, our first meeting was rather distasteful might I say
I disliked her instantly
Perhaps my expectations for her were not met
She's not the prettiest girl apparently
But no, my lack of adoration was not because of her looks
It was because I misjudged her persona
I pegged her for a spoilt, untrue, and judgmental rich girl who hasn't touched dust in her life
It turned out that I was the judgmental one
Friendship with her came naturally
She never runs out of things to discuss
She vomits words
That there is communication
And from that sprung an unexpected friendship
One to last until death
Or so I say
However, something more developed
A one-sided love
For months I admired her in secret
Until of course I decided that I must tell her
For my own benefit
To get rid of all the "what ifs"
To free myself at last
I poorly braced myself for the outcome
After all, it will either turn out good or bad
And I am hoping, believing that it will be alright
After my bold confession of my love for her, I'm afraid our friendship vanished
She was surprised, questioning
And, maybe disgusted as well
You see, she doesn't like me
Not in a romantic way
She likes bad boys and not tough girls like me
And I've always known
And I always disregarded that knowledge
It was a domino effect from then on
Toppling over every single second chance that I may have
So much trouble
All because of this glimmer of hope
Maybe, just maybe, she might feel attraction to another girl
And I will be accepted
Like I always have been
There's a little gayness in all of us
At least that's what they say
Boy was I wrong
So I was left with an inevitable action
One that I'm very good at
It's a peculiar gift of mine
To turn someone invisible
But only to my eyes
Not entirely true of course
Just play pretend that somehow, June doesn't exist
Never have
It would be difficult for the both of us
Not to mention that she's a person who values friendship greatly
And I'm someone with a tight grip
I should thank her too
For the laughs as it's what we always do
On a brighter side, I'm done with my initiation
Of life's cruel comedy that we must go through
To love someone who will not love us back
To get hurt because of a heartbreak
But I am proud of myself
I experienced a lot of firsts
June was my first straight girl crush
My first love
First rejection
First heartbreak
I have confessed my feelings
I broke my heart
I made a few poems out of it
And now I am fine
Or am I truly?
YOU ARE READING
WORD PLAY
Poetry"The lonesome hours is when imagination is vast, limitless even". Word Play is a collection of poetry of all kinds made in the most haphazard moments of a gay girl's life. note: for the part about the 2015 movie Carol, see chapter titled "carol" P.S...
