The Beginning of the End

Chapter 13

-Peeta-

     Katniss and I have been talking for nearly four hours now and with ever passing moment she seems to get better. She smilss brighter, laughs louder, and talks calmer.

     "Dinner's ready!" her mom calls from the kitchen. She gets up and surpises me with a kiss. When she pulls away, she laughs at my bewildered expression.

     As she leaves I realize there's something I've never said to her.

     "Katniss." I stop her and she turns around with a small smile.

     "Yes?"

     "I love you." I tell her. Her eyes widen in surprise and a smile lights up her face.

     "I love you too, Peeta." she says, and I believe her.

     Later that night as I'm trying to fall asleep I hear my door open and Katniss walks in. She stands in the doorway, unmoving.

     "Katniss..." I grip my sheets. The last time this happened she had a knife and almost killed me.

     Walking slowly towards me, she starts to mutter something under her breath.

     "Katniss!!!" I say again, much louder this time. She falls to her knees but she's still asleep.

     "Why Peeta?" she whispers. "Why did you kill them?" she shakes her head as though she's disappointed. "I have to kill you, you know. So that we're even." I hear a click and realize she's holding a gun. I throw myself at her and since she's asleep it falls out of her hand easily, unlike last time. She screams at the top of her lungs and elbows me in the face. Depsite the pain, I hold on tighter, pinning her to the ground. Screaming and thrashing, she spits in my face amd knees me hard in the stomach. My damaged inner-organs scream in protest and so do I.

     "What the hell..." Gale runs into the room and slaps Katniss across the face as hard as he can. She freezes and if I wasn't in so much pain, I would have laughed at her expression. She looks down at me clutching ny stomach, tears streaming down my face, and kneels beside me.

     "Oh god Peeta." she puts her hand on my shoulder and I want to tell her it's okay but I can't get my voice to work.

     "Go back to bed, Katniss." Gale says a little to harshly. She looks at me and I nod. As Gale walks her to the door, I crawl over and grab the gun.

-Katniss-

     "Peeta, no!!" Gale stops and I turn around. The panic in Gale's voice is unusual for me. As I look at Peeta my hands fly to cover my mouth as I gasp. The gun I held is pressed against his head and tears are coming down his face. He's shaking like a leaf and his finger twitches.

     "I can't do this anymore." he says. His eyes lock with mine and pain flows through me at the thought of losing him. He clicks the bullet into place and I take a step forward.

     "Peeta, please don't do this." Gale is pleading and I can see his hands shaking too. I kneel down in front of Peeta and look deep into his eyes. They're full of fear and anger, and I know this isn't just part of an attack due to his time in the Capitol. I know this is my fault.

     "I love you." he sobs.

     "I love you. I need you, Peeta." I say. He hesitates, lifting his finger off the trigger for a moment. Staring into his agony-filled eyes I can see all the sadness in the world. All the sadness in a boy that used to be the happiest person I knew. For a moment I'm in his position, seeing no other way out. His parents and siblings never loved him. No one had, except for me, and no I'm almost out of reach. Almost.

     "You said you'd always stay with me. You promised." I can hear the desperation in my voice.

     "You love Gale. He's the only one you see clearly. It's always been him." he puts his finger back on the trigger.

     "I don't love Gale." I see Gale flinch out of the corner of my eye, but hus feelings are the least of my concerns right now. "I love you. Ever since you kissed me in the cave during our first games. I didn't know it at the time but the feeling I got was love. You're the strongest person I know. I wouldn't have gotten through everything if it wasn't for you. I'm not an emotional person, but my life wouldn't be worth living without you."  He sinks in every word but doesn't lower the gun. Instead his grip tightens.

      "I'm sorry, Katniss." he says and I begin to sob.

     "Peeta please, don't do this. You're everything to me." as I say these things I realize how true they are. I never realized how much I truly loved him. "Please know that if you do this I'll do the same thing." I promise. He begins sobbing and drops the gun. I want to laugh with relief but my fear is still there. He collapses in sobs and I rush over to him.

      "Give it to me." I jump as Haymitch's voice comes from behind me; I hadn't noticed him walk in. With a shaking hand I hand he gun to him and he takes it without a word and leaves.

      "I'll give you some time." Gale mutters to me and leaves too. I wrap my arms around him and he's shaking, silent tears rolling down his face.

     "I'm an idiot." he says. I shake my head.

     "You're not an idiot. I understand completely." I rest my cheek on the top of his head. Just that little contact causes him to completley break down. I rock him back and forth like a baby and he eventually calms down. Before I know it, he's fast asleep.

     Stroking his hair, I kiss the top of his head. "I'm here. I love you." I say, knowing he can't hear me. Sitting there on the floor with him in my arms, I fall asleep.