The Lonely Girl | H.S.

Chapter 5

"And our scars remind us

that the past is real."

Papa Roach-Scars

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat on my bed and played music turned up extremely loud, hair up in a messy ponytail, drumming, humming, vining, while doing homework when one of my most favorite songs come on.

I tear my heart open

I sew myself shut

My weakness is that

I care too much

Our scars remind us

That the past is real

I tear my heart

Open just to feel

I stop doing homework and sing along. I have my forearms exposed and ran my fingers over the bumps and marks I have as I sing "our scars remind us."

I think back to Harry earlier. He doesn't understand why I listen to the music I do. He hasn't gone through what I have. I can't keep thinking about him. I bet this is all just some game to him. I go straight to my English essay, trying to forget about him. The essay was a topic that I was specifically assigned to. Coincidentally, and ironically might I add, I was one of the people that was assigned to write about Teen Suicides. I had several moronic individuals at school laugh at me, that is until I give them very deadly glares. I'm not up for dealing with other people's bullshit. My English teacher - Mr. Harnstead - had told me that he knew for a fact that he would love my essay. He always enjoyed my work. Before I started to skip school, that was the best class I had. Grades were high and I had felt in a way that I was, too. I'd choose that class over anything that hellhole had to offer, including extracurricular classes.

~*~*~

As I walk into school this morning, I noticed a different feel in the air, the vibes I had felt entering gave me chills to say the least.

The atmosphere, the setting, everything felt so out of place. It was as if I was in a dream. As I walked to my locker to put away my math book I spotted Harry. He was with his friends, of course. They really can't live a day without him, can they? Always swarming him, laughing in unison at any stupid, corny jokes he had, even if he wasn't funny. They were puppets, his puppets, and he loved soaking in all the attention. As I look over he slightly smiles but then looks away quickly. Of course. Harry Styles, trying time play me and then play it off as if it'd never happened the next day? Typical. I slammed my locker loud enough to quite the halls. I know I'd gotten a majority of my peers attention, and hopefully that included curly locks, too.

I start to walk to English where I hoped to be able to find some sort of relief. I clumsily entered and quickly dashed towards the back, any row, it didn't matter, as long as it was the very last seat. I pull out my notepad filled with poetry, quotes, and other knowledgeable and important things. The notepad is followed by my perfectly sharpened pencil. As class began I sat listening carefully and closely to all information before Mr. Harnstead begins questioning the class, and of course my hand is the first to shoot up. He quietly chuckles and turns his back to me as he calls me by my last name, gesturing for me to begin whatever it is I have to say this time. I start to respond carefully, remembering every word of his question, and how I plan to respond. As I had almost finished my reply, a hooded figure came stumbling into the classroom, grasping everyone's attention, and stealing it from me. Selfish of me to say I know, but this is the one class I feel I have any power, it obviously pisses me off to lose that strength.

The mysterious figure hands Harnstead their paper. I then watched, along with my fellow peers, as my favorite teacher tapped his chin thoughtfully. Shortly after he leaned over and whispered somthing, then pointed next to me. I looked at them and then quickly over to my side, realizing that the seat next to me was empty. As I looked up the hooded figure had suddenly been unmasked.

Pulling his hoody off of his head to reveal those brown, curly locks. Of course it was him of all people.

He smiled at me and almost ran to the back. I wasn't sure exactly what to do so I sat back an closed me eyes, inhaling deeply. Worried of the looks we were probably receiving at the moment.

"Lucy! Why didn't you tell me you had this class??" I exhaled the breathe of fresh air I once had that started to burn deep in my chest. "Because I didn't think it mattered to you," I almost whisper while gritting my teeth together. I know it didn't matter to him. Like I'd told him the other night, I never mattered to him before, so why should he care now? He reached over and quickly grasped my hand.

"Of course it does."

He started to rub the back of my hand with the pad of his thumb. It felt good, it sent tingles and shivers up my arm from that very spot on my hand. This was the point that I started to notice a few of the stares and glances directed at us, and snapping to my senses I jerked my hand away as fast as I could. This wasn't going to happen. Not now, not ever. Do you know why? Because love doesn't really exist. People don't really care. And people are like shadows. They're only there in the brightest times in your life, and disappear in your darkest. He never cared and he never will. I'm on to his games and I won't take his shit. I hurried and continued to do my work, jump back and find the rhythm I was on before he trotted in. I tried to ignore him during class, but he would either write notes or text me endlessly. It was very, very irritating.

After the bell rang I ran out the door right as quickly as my feet would carry me. I had turned in my assignments for the day. I made sure I was able to leave before the little douche caught up with me. I hurried and was practically running to hide under some stairs. Once I knew I was safe I stayed quiet, watching for him. He caught my gaze as he called rather loud for the girl that nobody knew, that no one cared to acknowledge. The only time people cared for the name, when it was coming from his lips. I watched as he sighed and tugged on his curls irritably before a friend came up and put a hand on his shoulder. He murmured to him and they began to exchange whispers before Harry nodded slowly and turned around and walked away with the dark haired boy.

~*~*~

As soon as I got home I ran up the stairs. I was glad that Harry and Nikki weren't able to find me today. As long as I didn't have to see him, or answer any questions, I felt alright. Soon after I began doing my homework I heard the front door slam loudly. It caused me to jump a little out of fright, worried as to who it could be, before I realized that my mom was home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comment

Vote

Fan :)

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥/Lacey Styles