harry
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it's been 6 days since he left. no messages, no calls, no updates. i'm still here waiting in this cold room in our apartment. he left, just like that. no notes, no post-it, no nothing. how could he? it was just a small argument. i didn't really mean it when i told him to leave. i miss him. god, i really do. it wasn't my fault. i saw another pair of ripped boxers and it doesn't belong to one of us. he must be cheating, or at least that was what i thought.
i told him about it and asked him in the most calm and nicest tone. he got mad. he shouted at me for being nosy. all i did was ask, i didn't even shout. i was angry, upset and hurt. so i told him to leave. i shouted, for the first time in 3 years. he was taken aback, i was too. he looked at me and walked out the door. it was the first argument we had, in 3 years. i'm upset. what ever did i do to make him that upset. what about me?
i left at least 300 text messages and called him a 100 times. he blocked me after saying 'i love you.'
i'm confused. what did he mean by that? where is he? what is he doing? is he with 'him' or 'her'? what is going on? i miss him. i miss louis. i'm worried. it's been 6 days. 6. please come back. i don't think i can do this anymore. i need him. he was my strength, my weakness. i love him. god, i really love him.
but nothing can change the fact that he 'cheated'. or at least that was what i thought he did. not only did i find the boxers, i found used condoms in the bin. i could also smell the faint scent of perfume. gucci. but wait. that belongs to zayn. he wouldn't cheat on me would he? not with zayn? zayn was always there with me. through my ups and downs. louis. what did you do? i need an answer. and i need you.
this wasn't the first time i saw boxers and used condoms around the house. i just couldn't bring myself to ask him but this time i did. because i needed to know. didn't i pleasure him enough? was it the sex? was it me? i understand if it was me. i'm controlling, selfish, annoying, nosy, ugly, fat, and pathetic. why would someone like him be with me? did i even mean anything to him? was i a 'thing' to release his stress? a sex slave? what was i?
what went wrong? why did he leave? he could've talked things through. i didn't expect it to turn out like this. all i did was ask. louis. please. come back.
**
author's note!!
hey. well that was the first chapter. it kinda suck didn't it? sorry, it's been quite a while since i last wrote. sorry if the english is bad. my first language is not english, i mean kinda. i conversate in english everyday and i used to read a lot i just didn't have the time to do it anymore. anyways, leave your comments please. i do need help and suggestions and tips. do you like the first chapter? if you don't, how can i improve it? let me know what you think. leave nice comments, i'm here to make friends and be nice to people. but thank you for reading.
see you again. love, a.
