harry
*
after thinking about it, i decided to leave louis. for good. i called jay saying that i won't be coming and my heart hurts at the thought of him, i just wished him a speedy recovery and hung up. i blocked her number afterwards.
i decided to drive back to our current apartment and write him a letter.
dear louis,
i found out. i had to find out from zayn. i can't believe you won't own up to it. can you believe i almost married you? i thought what we had was good enough clearly not. i wish you a speedy recovery. i had so much to talk to you about, the wedding plan, our suits, your family, the venue, our honeymoon. sad to know that you decided to throw it all away. the past 3 years with you was great. it was the best 3 years of my life. you showed me the meaning of love. you took good care of me, loving me and even checking up on me every 5 minutes. i know i'm not easy to deal with. i'm angsty, annoying, clingy, bossy. i get why you would leave me. i just thought that i made you happy. you were always smiling, and always reminding me that you love me.
you were such a great boyfriend. you were there all the time. i loved cuddling with you, it makes me feel safe. i'm just really upset and disappointed. i'm sorry i can't be the one to make you happy nor can i satisfy you. just know that i will always love you. what we had was amazing. but i know this wasn't the first time you cheated on me. zayn told me everything. the thought of you cheating hurts. it hurts so me so much lou. you could've asked, i would give you ANYTHING. you want a baby? we'll get one. a dog? we'll adopt one. you want rough sex? i'll let you dominate me. why didn't you ask?
you even promised me you would tell me everything and anything. i loved how you will rant to me about the little things. you were so comfortable with me and in the past few months, we just drifted apart. you started to come home late, drunk, hickeys everywhere. you would wake up the next day and i would just reply with a, "yeah, i gave you the hickeys. it looks hot on you." i couldn't bear to have an argument with you. i loved you too much for that. it hurts me so much, because i could see your eyes fill with guilt. but yet, you didn't choose to tell me.
i don't want to write anymore. i shouldn't be wasting time on you. i don't even want to marry you anymore. i don't want to be here anymore. i'm leaving lou. i'm leaving for good. i'm sorry, as much as it hurts me saying it, i just have to. i don't love you anymore. and i know we can talk things through because like they said, 'if there's a will, there's a way." but there isn't a 'will'. i'm done. i'm done trying to keep this relationship. it's been one-sided three months ago. three months ago, was the day i saw you kissing another guy in the bar.
i texted you and you weren't replying. so i checked your location and saw you were at a nearby bar. i came to take you home because i didn't want you to be drunk since you have work the next day. and what i saw at the bar broke my heart into a million pieces. you weren't just kissing him, you were making out with him. you were groping his ass and it looks like you were having fun. i chose to not talk about it to you, but i know lou. i know you cheated. i didn't talk to you about it because i figured that you were probably just drunk. but no, you did it over and over again.
how many times did you cheat louis? i just want to know the truth. i probably won't since i'll be leaving soon. i already bought a ticket and it's leaving in 4 hours. i'm all packed. i'm taking all your money since you cheated. i can't do anything about it. it happened, i can't change the fact that it happened. it did and it hurts me so much. i just want you to know that i will always love you. you were my first love. i'm putting the ring in the envelope too, i hope zayn likes it.
i probably will send you letters because even though it hurts me, i still love you.
good bye louis.
from, harry edward styles.
**
author's note!!
i updated a lil early today since i have tons of things to do and i wanted to get this out of the way. i think i'll be updating twice or more today. it's a 50/50 chance, i'm not quite sure. um, this chapter is kinda stupid haha, i honestly have no idea what to write so i came up with this bullshit. i hope you like it! leave a vote and comment! would love to read your suggestions. anyways, yeah gtg now.
talk soon. love, a
