harry
*
it's been 2 months. 2 months since he left. leaving nothing but me behind. i slept hugging his clothes and smelling his scent. god, i miss him so much. he blocked me and i can't find any other way to contact him. i tried calling and going to his mothers' house but no one answered. my heart and my mind hurts so much, with him constantly in my mind. i've been crying and ignoring everyone. i'm pretty sure they're worried, but i'm worried too. is louis okay? what is he doing right now? i can't do this anymore. he is constantly in my mind and it hurts me. it hurts me a lot. all i want is for him to come back.
i miss you louis. i still don't know what i did wrong. i tried everything. i called eleanor, sending letters to your old house, asking our friends, going to your mums' house. louis, i'm tired. i miss you. the bed is cold. the house is quiet most of the time. i miss your laughter, your jokes, and you. everything reminded me of you. i even cried when i saw the toilet seat. i remembered when you were sitting in front of the toilet seat staring at the water, and i laughed so hard and it made you so mad.
"what are you doing lou?" i asked.
"there's a tiny fish in it, i can't take it out!" he said, frustration shown clearly on his face.
"why don't you take a spoon or something?" i asked again, laughing even harder this time.
"i don't want to hurt his little flippy things." he replied sadly.
"you mean the fins? oh baby, i'll take it out for you." i suggested, laughing.
"it's not funny harry! one of us is going to pee and we'll flush him down! stop it harry! you're so annoying!" he shouted.
it happened almost 3 years ago and it still made me laugh but now, it just makes me cry. i'm so pathetic, crying over a toilet seat. i want to end my life. i can't live without you. you're my whole world. we've been together for 3 years and when you left, it hurts like a bitch. i texted the group chat, the one with you, zayn, liam and niall in it. nobody replied. i texted a week ago and nobody replied. what did you tell them? that i cheated? that i was a bitch? a nosy and annoying boyfriend? all i wanted to know was the truth. if you cheated, the least i could do is just be mad at you. even that won't last that long. perhaps 2 days. but you didn't, and instead you left.
i even messaged each of the boys individually and yet no one replied. i'm sorry i'm annoying and i'm a bitch and i was your boyfriend. i should've known, why would someone like you even go with someone like me? i'm ugly, fat and pathetic. mum told me that i shouldn't be with you from the start. but i told her that i love you and you make me happy. she gave me a disappointed look but still supported because being with you makes me happy and as long as i'm happy, she is too. but clearly she was right. i just couldn't make you happy like how you made me happy.
i'm sorry i couldn't do that. if i could give you the world i would but, all i can give you is me. and clearly that wasn't enough for you. i just wish you the best and hopefully you are happy with who you are now. i love you louis.
**
author's note!!
hello i'm back with a new chapter. sorry if this chapter sucks way more than the previous chapter. i'm exhausted and am currently sitting in front of the fan. i know it sounded like he committed suicide at the end since he did imply that somewhere in this chapter but i can ensure you he did not. the next chapter would be a surprise! so look out for that. if you liked the chapter, please vote and comment on things i can improve on. i really hope you like this chapter. but thank you so much for reading, see you soon!
love, a
