Behind Closed Doors: The Candice Sanders Story, uncensored

My story: Chapter #1

So I was born in Mississippi Oktibbea, on October 31, 1998. My parents couldn't take care of me and my mom kept sending me off to people from house to house because she couldn't take care of me. I was dirty my mom had me in dirty dippers, but from what my aunt told me this lady I don't even remember was taking care of me I believe her name was Dorothy, she always cleaned me fed me, made sure my hair was clean and done. But than she got sick and the last thing she told my aunt was take care of this baby don't let her go back there so my aunt got custody of me and I've been living here since I was 18 months old only thing I remember when I first same here was when my mom came to visit my aunt she was looking for my dad and my dad is my aunts brother. Only thing I remember is this big black shadow of me being held and my mom was the one holding me I was on her left shoulder ik it's crazy that I remember that being so small as a new born, but I remember it and me thinking about it just brings this powerful feeling in my heart it's like love like I feel it. But my aunt and I have the same birthday.

My dad lives in South Carolina Columbia, and living with my aunt was not good it still isn't her ex husband wasn't happy about me moving in with them and their kids but my uncle would treat me like shit and he would call me ugly duckling I never took it as a playful way because he's never called me by my name until I was like 13 and he was coming to see his kids. When I was like I would say maybe 6 or 7 my aunt started dating this guy name Daniel, and so I thought he was cool and nice at first but things started changing like he would pick on me too say stuff about my ADHD, and so one day I had to do this project for school it was like a frog project and I guess he was getting irritated and inpatient with me and so I was butt naked and he would spank me with the belt and my aunt had just come home and she walks in doesn't say anything she sees him hit me wit the belt and me crying and she never said anything. He would pluck me in the head he bought me gifts sometimes, and so it was that one day I got tired of it and I called my dad and told him everything, my dad was pissed off and my aunt had the nerve to say I was lying and I was like I wasn't he even made my nose bleed a couple of times even my grandma said something to him and to my aunt.

My aunt is honestly the worst person ever to me she is someone I highly dislike I have so much hate for her that I would love to forgive but it's kinda hard now cause it's happening everyday. My aunt says the worst things, and she always wants to be right she never things she says anything wrong. Last year I ran away and I was just going through a lot when I ran away I got rapped and that's in the back of my head, it wasn't easy cause I had night mares about it and it happening to me but by different people and I had took a nap and I had this dream I was on tour and so I'm on my tour bus trynna get ready and my security guard and this other guy came in and I'm like Wyd I'm trynna get ready so they throw me on the bed and start rapping me and I'm trynna scream in my sleep but I couldn't it was like my throat just closed up on me. But anyway so than my other aunt and I were fighting and she gave me a black eye and so my therapist had to report it so we seating down and the one I dislike her name is T. the one that gave me the black eye her name is L. so my aunt T. said "I'm getting tired of candicee and etc and she turned around looked at me and pointed "you know what child protective services should've took you when they had the chance." And I just sat there like wow!

Her and I don't have good communication skills my aunt is someone I don't want in my future I want to be free from all the negativity she continuously puts me down and she never gives me credit for things I do. But I just sit here and tolerate it I've tolerated her hitting me with a belt for years and her rude comments it's gotten so bad that I don't even want her at my graduation next year and I don't care she can wait outside for all I care. But enough about my aunt. My dad is my everything but right now I'm kinda mad at him because he's keeping things from me and we never do that my dad and I tell each other everything and it hurts that he would keep the fact that I was gonna have another brother away from me.

I've been hurt over and over when your used to a lot of things it's like "oh wow that's nothing new." I know what it feels like to be abandoned and I will not lay a hand on my child unless they disrespect me they will know they can come to me for anything and I won't judge I will just keep it 💯. I don't care what it is I will be there for my child I will give my child or children everything I never had, I refuse to allow my kid to decide if they're going to dad's house or moms house first for any holiday.

I've been neglected before by my mom and my dad. My dad isn't perfect but my dad has seen me go from a new born to a young lady, he's been there for me. I tell my dad about boys and my dad know I'm not a virgin my dad knows everything about me. But that's it so far.