The To-Do List

It's going to be okay

"Kill. Kill. Killian." "Huh? What?" Killian rolled over, off the couch and fell on the floor. He stood up and sat back down on the couch, wiping drool away from the corner of his mouth. He grumbled something about never being able to get a good nights sleep. "Killian" The voice sounded annoyed now. Killian groggily opened his eyes and Jillian was sitting next to him. "Jill, what do you want. I'm trying to sleep. Can't you tell?" Killian said annoyed now. "Yeah, sleeping on the couch must be so comfortable I'm sure," Jillian said sarcastically. "You need to wake up, come on. We need to talk about Vivian." Killian was awake now and stood up, stretching. He walked to the kitchen and got a glass of water, came back and sat down on the chair across from Jillian. "What about her? Where is she anyways? Weren't you guys just cleaning up?" Killian said looking around for Vivian. "Yeah, like four hours ago Kill. We got cleaned up, and it was getting pretty late so I drove her home. She needed to get all rested up for tomorrow, well, today. When I got back, you were still passed out on the couch, I figured you needed the rest, so I let you sleep. But now we need to talk. It's the big day. Tonight we finish our mission," Jillian looked at Killian. He looked tired like he hadn't gotten enough sleep. "I was out for four hours? Ha," Killian laughed dryly. Killian got serious, his eyes clouding. "Do you think she's ready?" Jillian noticed Killian's eyes and shifted in his seat. He didn't like how Killian's been handling his temper lately. It seems like he's been flipping out over every little thing. Killian never acted with his head when he was angry, just his emotions, which he'd learned to turn off all too well. That's where Jillian had picked up how useful it was to fight with rage rather than your head when fighting the Fangs; what he'd used to help Vivian fight better. "Kill, man, you've gotta tell me what's been going on with you recently. One minute you're fine, the next your eyes are seething and you're flipping out. I mean look at that hole in the wall," Jillian said, a pleading tone in his voice, motioning over to where Killian had taken out his anger earlier, "I just don't understand where your head has been lately man." Jillian paused, looking up at Killian. Killian was staring past him, out the window behind him. His eyes had returned to a gentle deep shade of mauve. Slowly and softly Jillian continued, "Did the nightmares come back?" Killian's breath hitched and his eyes darted down to the floor, he began fidgeting with his fingers. "We can talk about her.. You told Vivian about her. That's the first time I've heard you say her name in years." Jillian's voice was barely a whisper now. "Kill. Please. Just tell me what's going on man." Killian took a deep breath. "They're so much alike. All I see when I look into her eyes is her. And we have this connection. I don't know what it is, and I know that you're supposed to be the one with the connection with her but Jill, man, I swear she saw something inside of me. When I was telling Vivian about her, she had such sympathy, empathy. I don't know. I don't know." Killian muttered to himself. "Kill, it's a sad story, any girl with a heart would feel bad, I don't think-" Jillian started, cut off. "No," Killian interjected confidently, "She knows something. I don't know how but she does. She said that she had something to tell me, but I told her to wait until after the mission so it wouldn't mess anything up. Jill," Killian paused, taking a breath, "She just reminds me so much of her. Vivian gets the same stubborn, determined look in her eyes that she used to. I know that she's gone, and I've been trying to get over her, I really have, and I almost was. But Viv.. She.. she unintentionally ripped off a scab and I don't know what to do with my reopened, bleeding scar." Jillian stood up and walked over to Killian. Killian stood up and Jillian embraced him and held him tightly. "Let it out," Jillian said softly. And he did. Killian cried. Cried for his lost love, for his heartbreak, for his stubbornness to let go. He cried and cried until there was nothing left. Jillian held him tight the whole time, and Killian hugged him back. When there was nothing left for Killian to cry for, Killian told Jillian that he'd try to watch his temper better. Jillian nodded and gave him one last squeeze and sat back down on the couch. 

Killian sat down on the chair, his eyes dry and back to their normal deep violet color. When he spoke his voice didn't waver but was strong and set. "I don't think she's ready yet. She can defend herself, her hand on hand combat has much improved. Her reaction time is still too slow and she's still easily startled when not in a prepared situation. I say we give her a little scare this morning and finish her training up before we send her to that ball," Killian had a glint in his eye. Jillian knew what he was thinking. He wanted to surprise attack Vivian and see how she handled it. Jillian was also a little excited to see how far she's come along since he last scared her by jumping out of a tree. Jillian chuckled at the memory. Killian looked at him. "I'm just remembering when I scared her by jumping out of a tree," He explained. Killian rolled his eyes, chuckling also. "So you go pick her up and bring her to the clearing in the forest, then I'll jump out and attack her?" Jillian said. Killian chuckled and looked at Jillian's nose. It was facing the right way now, so he must've set it earlier, but it was still bruised, along with most of his face and his body. "You are in no shape to take her on again just yet. I'll do it, you go pick her up." Killian laughed and Jillian rolled his eyes, tenderly touching his nose. "You're probably right," Jillian admitted. They both stood up and moved to the kitchen. It was about 6 am now. They both agreed that Vivian deserved a few more hours of rest. She was, after all, the backbone of their whole mission, they couldn't have her anything but wide awake and ready to rumble. 

They ate breakfast and cleaned the kitchen, then they went back into the living room. "Thanks, by the way, for saving my skin earlier." Jillian threw out. "No problem big bro," Killian replied, "But if you ever pull something like that again, I'll let the Fangs have a go at you before I throw on my hero hair and swoop in to save you, ya hear?" Jillian let out a laugh and rumpled Killian's hair. Killian swatted Jillian's hand away and whooped, heading towards the front door. "Big brother!" Jillian followed him as they got into the car, "where are we going Kill?" Killian shifted the car into gear and set off down the road into town, "We have to get her a dress! She's been so busy all week training and now she's sleeping and the ball is today and we've not taken her shopping! So, we pick her up now and go on a little shopping trip, then you take the car and head to the clearing, and I'll take her home then bring her to the clearing for our last training session!" Jillian smiled and cranked the radio. "It's time to find Cinderella a dress for the ball!" He shouted throwing his head back and opening the sunroof. They drove down the road, blaring music, letting in sun, and laughing. Jillian looked over at his younger brother. Killian was healing, but there was something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. There was something different about Killian. Maybe Vivian was helping him move on, maybe she ripped off his scab, but it was healing better now than before. Jillian didn't quite know what was going on with Killian, but he did know that right there, in that very moment, his younger brother was happy. That was the first genuine smile of happiness that Jillian had seen on his younger brother in a long time. It was almost over. Their life mission, their sole purpose, was happening tonight. After tonight.. they were free to live life as they wanted. They were free from their purpose. And they were ready.