Wild Hearts

Making an Effort

If my journey is riddled with doubt, and the people in my life bring that doubt, it's only right that I should try and fix that. Not them, because they don't need fixing. No, I just need to silence the whispers and make peace with those who matter.

Ryder will always have my heart beating a million miles an hour, but at least I know I have removed this barrier between myself and David. Our journey might soon be over, but there'd be no hard feelings.

So that just left two big thorns in my side. One is guilt; the other, shame. Corin is my guilt, the one who slipped through my fingers and fell before I could catch her. Isaac is my shame—in all other circumstances, putting as much distance between the two of us would have been the only way to find peace. But I don't want that.

What Isaac did hurt. But if I've learned anything on this... wild journey, it's about giving people second chances. Admittedly, I was ready to never lay eyes on him again after our first encounter, but he proved himself when he saw me broken in the snow, and helped me. He was terrified of me—imagine that, the devil of Hell terrified of me, but he actually sincerely apologise, and he was genuinely ashamed of what he did.

Beneath that... cocky assuredness and suave bravado, he was human. Tragically human. Of course, he hid that side of him well, and I'm only glad I got to see through the glass, to the real Isaac inside. Now he's back in the shell, but that won't stop me.

I just think he's a tough nut to crack. But I'm getting through to him, bit by bit.

My next breaking down of those barriers is a way to solve a little issue I have. So I drag Isaac, quite literally by the ear when he groans, and Connor follows us to his car, a skip in his step, grinning madly. He loves it. I love it. Sort of. I'm sure the sight of us would make Corin ecstatic. I don't know the full history between Isaac and Corin, but I want them to at least be on good terms. I want him to look out for her because I won't always be there, and neither will Connor.

It's a pretty lousy day, and the rain only picks up in pace. Connor's car smells vaguely of coffee. Oh, and because it bears repeating, it's a freaking Mercedes... piece of art that costs four times as much as my house. He may not get on well with his dad, but it can't be said that he doesn't have some luxuries of his own.

He thought a Lamborghini would be showing off.

Though to be fair to Connor, it's not like he got whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. The car was a gift on his eighteenth birthday, but he wasn't exactly swimming with money. Keeping up Hell took a large chunk of his bank, and I'm sure paying for the car wasn't exactly helping either. And then there's a carnal beast like Isaac draining all the rest.

It felt really weird, me being me, and Connor being well... of another world. I mean he would wake up in a king-sized bed, have amazing breakfasts—just imagine the omelettes, the bacon stacked high, the juicy sausages and... I'm getting carried away again. The point is, his life could never be said to have been hard-pressed. I don't mean that he can't be unhappy, just that if I didn't already know him as I do now, I definitely would be looking at him with contempt. I can't tell him how my family's in dire straits. He'd only look down on me, and I like Connor. Better to have him believe I come from a middle-class household, only mild financial woes. Not, like, if dad doesn't get paid this weekend, we're eating stale bread and maybe some beans and hoping we can pay the next electric and gas bill.

Apart from that, Connor and I got on swimmingly. What's more to say than he's a really compassionate guy and someone who is in touch with their emotions? Isaac, on the other hand... Ryder called himself rough sorts. That's Isaac to a T. He's scarred, battered, hurt and confused. I can relate to that, can see the good man beneath the grime. Since Ryder, I've want to make sense of the unknown, and Isaac is a pretty big unknown.