Glamorous Times

Casanova

Featuring:
WhatYouAreHereFor
mistinthemirror
hannahmfoley01
StavageForRoggieT
JohnsGirl11
Wicked_Annabella
Chicken_Hoe

Btw, all dick jokes curtesy of Elisa
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After Lou stumbles around to discover everyone's favorite type of pizza, he finally orders about ten different kinds. Marc and Hannah help me put away my fold out table, which I strongly appreciate. When we come upstairs, a ping pong table is standing in its place, with Bryan Ferry standing atop it. Now, that man is usually very relaxed, but in the apparent absence of viable girls (and I swear he came in with five or six), he has become drunk as a skunk.

"David Jones Bowie, or whatever the hell your name is, I challenge you to a croon off!" Oh no, what have I just been summoned into? Everyone at the party looks at me, excited for my response. However, I know no matter what I do, I'll make a fool of one or both of us. "Marc, start playing the Bing Crosby records, I want to sing a duet with David." Marc timidly looks at me, and I motion for him to put on the record. He puts it on, and the song "Putting on the Ritz" comes on. Bryan Ferry holds his glass, wait, where did he get a Martini? He sings into the glass like a microphone.

Have you seen the well-to-do
Up and down Park Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
With their noses in the air?

Everyone starts looking at me, and then Mick Ronson screams for me to sing. Everyone starts chanting "Go David!"

Ah, what the hell...

I steal a bottle of vodka from Keith Richards, which I know I'm going to pay for later, then I chug down at least half of the bottle. Finally, Bryan looks at me with excited eyes as I motion for the ping pong table. I run with all my drunken might to it, and then sing:

Tips his hat just like an English chappie
To a lady with a wealthy pappy
Very snappy
You'll declare it's simply topping
To be there and hear them swapping
Smart tidbits

Everyone claps as I finish up the song, and I think I might have done a better job then I first considered I could. "So, who won?" Bryan incites, "Me," and there is a single cheer from Andy Mackay, who appears to be kind of out of it, "or David?" and then everyone goes nuts. Hannah and Marc give me thumbs up from their spot right below the table. Grace screams at the top of the stairs, and Judy breaks another lamp. Lee offers me a high five from below the table, and I say, "Thank you very much, bird!"

"Oh, my goodness, I'm not a girl!!" Lee shouts. I'm taken a little aback, but then it makes sense.

"Wow, you guys didn't know that?" Brian May says. Some of the people say "ohh.." but then it quickly calms down again.

However, Iggy says, "That was awful singing the both of you!" Wow, back to this, I see... "I hate you stupid crooners, it's all your fault, Marc," then, Iggy picks Marc right up, much to Hannah's dismay, throws him out the window, and we all hear a giant splash from my pool.

"Marc!" Hannah cries. She runs to the window to see him, and then darts right for the back door to save him.

"That was brilliant!" shouts Mick Jagger. Iggy motions to Judy, and she hands him a lamp. Then, Iggy bashes Mick over the head with it.

"Guys!" Holly screams, "Stop beating up my boyfriend!"

Elisa says, "You're just said that the only time Mick can give you a orgasm is when he pulls out his credit card." Then she snickers a bit, but Mick and Holly just groan.

"You're dick jokes are getting old, Elisa," Holly groans, and Judy tries to hand Elisa a lamp, but she shoves it away.

"My jokes will never get old!" she declares.

"Here here!" Grace chimes in. I really don't want to do now, my party started off as something fun, but now has become something utterly ridiculous. Hannah walks back in with a soaking Marc Bolan, and the both of them go up the stairs.

"Marc, you can borrow my clothes if you'd like," I call.

"Thanks man!"

After Mick stands up, all the grumbling stops, and we all wait for something to happen. The something that happened apparently is Bryan Ferry getting off the ping pong table, and Elisa and Keith going to go play on it.

"Well, what do we do now?" Stephanie asks.

"I know, dance party!" shouts out Mick Jagger.

Marc Bolan goes over to my records and whips out a copy of the single "Dancing in the Streets." Everyone immediately begins to clap their hands, wiggle, grind, and, oh God.....

Please tell me Judy isn't getting it on with the cabinets...

Yep. She is.

Soon enough, some really desperate, lonely people follow after her and start either having sex in the cabinets, or having sex with the cabinets. I try to ignore it the best I can. Thank goodness Hannah and Marc are a normal couple, though. As the song finishes, Marc places a gentle kiss on her lips. Roger Taylor picks Stephanie up bridal style and swings her around sweetly.

Lee looks sadly on as they see the happy couples, and thinks of their boyfriend that sadly isn't there.

"Hey Lee, mate, are you okay, hun?" I ask genuinely.

"It's just, I was hoping when I came to this party I could forget how lonely I feel, but it's just making it worse..."

"Here, care to tag along with me for the party?"

"No, I've been with Brian all this time."

"Which one? We have at least three."

"May, duh..."

"Okay, so the one that isn't mean or a freak, I got you. Well, how about you and Brian stay with me and I'll try my best to make you feel a little better, okay?"

Lee smiles a little, able to see how I really do care for their feelings, "Thank you David, that means a lot." I give Lee a little side hug and then we both give a very stunned look at what appears to be transpiring on the dance floor. Mick, Keith, Elisa, Holly, and Grace are all doing some line dance together, and Brian Eno is doing something, I'm not sure what, all around them...

Seriously, is he having a seizure?

No, now he just stops right in place completely motionless, and the others continue their line dance. "What are you doing, Brian?" I shout.

"The static. It's a dance of my own invention." He remains motionless for a solid two minutes, the only thing that breaks the static is when the pizza comes, and everyone goes running for the door.

Grace gets on top of the crowd and crowd surfs along to the pizza man. "Thank you, sir!" She steals money from Lou and pays him, and then runs inside, being stingy with all fifteen boxes. "These are mine!" She yells.

Keith Moon takes five from her, "Okay, these five are mine!"

"Oh come on, share!" yells just about everyone. Lee laughs out loud, good and hard at Grace's determination to hoard all of the pizza for herself. Finally Grace gives up and hands all but two of the boxes to Marc, and Keith gives four of his boxes away. He sets them nicely on the ping pong table, and then remembers that people had sex on it, so he takes the boxes and goes to the kitchen, but then remembers people had sex in there too.

"Hey, let's go outside!" he calls, and then everyone stampedes for my backyard. Marc sets out the boxes nicely, and then a bunch of the guys take their shirts off and hop into the pool, including Marc after he gets a slice of pizza.

Iggy runs back inside to get the music, so soon enough the Beatles are blasting in my backyard. I think this party just got raised to a whole new level....
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Guys, thank you for being patient for this update, I was really busy with school and crap. Anyways, I hope you liked it!

Thank you again for all of your awesome comments, those are such a joy for me to read and participate in!