Silence

Chapter 10 - Want to Talk

Carter stretches his arm and takes my hand again. He reaches into his pocket with his other hand, and takes out a phone. My phone. He hands it to me and I take it confused.

"When you fainted, you dropped your phone," he tells me.

I turn on the screen and see that I have a message from Lauren. It says:

Should have worn mascara. Btw he is a good guy. Get to know him bc I approve.

I silently laugh when I read this. Lauren has had boyfriends before, not from our school. I've watched her with them. She seems so confidant with them. I can't even talk to Carter.

If I really like him I should talk to him. I plan in my head that I will talk to him. If I want him to like me back we have to start somewhere. I need to trust him.

I turn my head to look at him and take a deep breath.

He leans in closer for a moment and I think he is going to try and kiss me but he just pushes a piece of my hair back. "What's wrong?" he asks.

I take another breath ready to say something, anything.

He holds out a hand. "No, you don't have to talk. I can tell that you're about to say something. You don't have to do that for me," he urgently says.

I shake my head because I want to do this.

"Emma, no, I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I'm fine with you being quiet. I'm mean it would be nice to hear your voice but it is completely okay. You don't-" he rushes, but I cut him off

"Carter," is all I manage to say. Not very loud, I might mention, but loud enough.

He puts on the biggest smile I've seen on him and then leans in closer. We are only a few inches apart.

"I really like you, Emma," he whispers. Then he adds, "Can you do it again?"

I nod. "Carter," I say, and then I pause before adding, "I like you too."

His smile melts me and he cups my cheek with his free hand and his other hand is still entwined with mine. His head tilts, and I lean closer. My eyes close as his lips brush against mine. He kisses me and I feel him smile. He pulls away and breathes, "I've been wanting to do that since I saw you at the water fountain."

I tell myself to trust him, that I can talk to him. "But I was all sweaty." I say.

Carter laughs and puts his forehead against mine. "No, I was sweaty, you were beautiful," he says.

He lightly kisses me again. "I never thought anyone would like me," I say, feeling more comfortable to talk to him.

"I don't understand how anyone could not like you," he tells me.

I smile at him. I doubt that my cheeks will ever turn back to their original color.

"And your voice. You don't know how happy I am to hear it. You sound like an angel," he whispers the last part.

After a while of us sitting there he asks me, "Are you ready to go home?"

"No, I like it here," I tell him.

He smiles but then he turns to me with a serious face. "I understand that you don't talk in front of people. I'm not judging you, and I'm not forcing you. I just want to let you know that you aren't committed to talk to me in public because we kissed. I like you the way you are, and I don't want you to feel like you should change for me. Please stay you Emma, and if you do feel the need to talk you can talk to me. But I don't want you to make yourself speak because of me, talk because you want to not because you feel like you're forced to," he finishes.

I nod my head in understanding and say, "Okay, but I spoke with you today because I wanted to."

That took the worried look away from his eyes. He leans over and kisses my forehead. "C'mon, it's getting late, and we need to get you home," he tells me while helping me stand. He never lets go of my hand.

We walk all the way back making small talk until I see my street.