Bittersweet

Chapter 25 - Refresh

"They say let he who is without sin cast the first stone. And to be without sin requires absolute forgiveness. But when your memories are freshly opened wounds, forgiveness is the most unnatural of human emotions."  ~ Emily Thorne   

Victoria's POV

Four months later...

My father once said "The human is race one which is never satisfied, no matter how hard we try, our inner beast never gives up, and we yearn for more each time"

It had taken me a while to wrap my head around his words, but I when I finally did, I found myself drowning in a world full of despair and lies, realising that every word he said was in fact, true.

It had been four months to the death of the last of my village's assassins, but deep down, I knew I still wasn't satisfied.

I had killed them all, yet I felt empty.

I wanted more.

I was still waiting for Christian. Waiting for him to come after me and to kill me, for all that I had put him through despite being the one person destined to cherish him for the rest of my life.

Perhaps the Moon Goddess should have thought that through better. Who would ever think of pairing a wolf with a snake anyways?

For the past four months, I had moved back to my home, to Amravit, where I spent most of my days helping them rebuild our town, and the rest of the time where I currently was, in the graveyard, sitting in front of my parent's graves.

I often saw people walk in and out of the graveyard, talking to their wife, sister, or daughter, but never had I once had even the slightest audacity to talk to any of my parents.

Perhaps it was because I was no better than the people who had ended my town. I was a murderer, after all.

I sat and stared at the graves ahead of me, wondering what my life would have been like if nothing would have happened that day the Royals decided to stride in? Would I have ever come across Christian? If I would have would I have married him? Loved him? And if not who would I have spent the rest of my life with? Would I have ended up marrying my neighbor next door that my parents always loved as their own son? Or the guy I was crushing on for two months after I turned seven? What would my life have looked like in this very town or better yet, what would have become of this town? Would my parents be proud of whatever I was to accomplish in my life?

But none of that mattered anymore, because that was not the case. The reality was based on violence, death and destruction.

I found myself hugging my knees to my chest as I simply took a deep breath and sat silently by their graves, watching the breeze hit the trees around me, reminding of the day Sonia and I had finished our mission of revenge and left wide eyed Christian and Mia behind, leaving our house, our life and everything in a matter of heartbeats, moving back to our town, our home.

Behind me, the scrunching of the ground was heard, but I couldn't bother turning around, knowing that if something were to attack me, I would accept it happily. Instead of death however, I was faced with something else, something I had been expecting to hear the past four months.

"You know, normally when people visit their parents' graves they have conversations with them, they apologise for all that they've done wrong, they praise their achievements and they vow to make them proud, but judging by your position, it doesn't look like you talk to them a lot" he said, taking a seat beside me on the ground.

I found myself smiling at the sound of his voice, not once daring to make eye contact with him.

"Why vow to make them proud when you know you're never going to be able to do that, why praise your achievements when you have none, and why apologise for something you don't regret?" I found myself questioning, shrugging slightly.