The Boy's Dilemma

Chapter One: The people of this world, have a story that isn't heard...

    As I sat on the plane I did not know what to do or what to say. I was finally moving to America. What's the worse of it? My parents are sending me alone, well... they said they would get one of my friends to move in with me in my apartment. How am I suppose to do this? I mean come on, you just sit and look out the window and say goodbye to the world you once knew?

   I hated that I had to go, I really wish my parents would have allowed me to stay but they didn't give me a choice. They had to sort things out. I sat listening to my music and looked out the window. Have you ever taken the red eye for the plane? Yeah that is absolute hell. I hate it, you wake up early in the morning like one or two, that or you stay up till midnight to get on the stupid plane.

  I twisted the ring on my finger, how was I going to do this? I didn't mean to say what I said, I didn't mean to do what I did. In the end I really am just a kid. I wish I would have realized that before I yelled. I can't tell you how many times I said sorry and they didn't listen to it they just threw it off stuck in the past.

  So how can I live with myself if I am the reason mum and dad are having so much problems? I wasn't even part of their family it seems like. I was always pushed aside, it's all about my brother. They praised him for the things he did, even as a child. We were a few months apart, because of this he was a grade older than me.

  Maybe the eldest are always the more favored. I hate that, that isn't the way that this world should be. We should all be treated as equals, especially in families. What's funny is that the most judgement that happens is in your family. They have no filters, no requirements to be nice to you all the time.

   The outside world of course, they have to make a good reputation for themselves. So you'll find the extremely sweet people. Like the ones that are so unbelievably nice to everyone, then after a while you get to know them and then they are complete demons. Yeah, I've a few of those.

  Then you've got those who are really rude but then you get to know and you realize they have a reason. A story to why they act the way that they act.  Have you noticed the similarity between all the people I have mentioned, I mean sure there are plenty more but you have got to have noticed something.

  They all involve getting to know the person, in the reality of life you can't trust what you first see. You never can, you have be like a hawk. Watching, stalking- well... maybe not stocking people. You understand the point I'm trying to get across, right? It takes time to see the real people that you meet outside your family. Unless of course... you're like me.

   Now the people like me are as reversed as you can get. Most feel safe at home, that isn't me. I am terrified of my home.  I don't feel anywhere close to safe.  Most people feel like the outside world is attacking them, I feel like it's welcoming me with open arms. So, you see the reversed? The people like me come from broken pasts, or have had something totally messed up happened to them.

  Or have some sort of sickness, I won't say what it is yet because I am embarrassed. It's a serious problem and I hate what I have. This came along by judgement of my family, and broken friendships I once had. So what am I to do? Just run and not face my problems like a coward?

  That was what William sought me out as, a coward. One who is too afraid to face the problems of my life. That isn't the case...

  It was never the case.

  My case was I didn't care, well, I cared but I didn't care enough to deal with it. Yet, I wanted something to be done. So people will look at me and say, "Wow, there is one beautiful girl... prefect." No, I am the least prefect person you'll ever meet.