Hello people. This chapter was inspired by my good fren Jasmin. She made a part on her one shot book from a song and it made me cry. So check that out. Sorry Jasmin I'm copying you with a different song. Oh well. Italics is lyrics. I'm not going to use all of them because some just are repeated like the chorus.
Dan's POV
Walking down 29th and park, I saw you in another's arms. Only a month we've been apart, you look happier.
The events from a month ago today played in my head. "I'm sorry Dan, I just can't anymore. You've got too much stuff in your life and I do too. We can't be together anymore." Phil said as if it were easy for him.
I tried to get him to stay. "No Phil please, we can help each other through our shit, please don't go." The tears came out the same way they did that night.
"No Dan we can't. I'm this isn't like a book where we live happily ever after. Life has problems look at reality."
"I'll always love you." I said sobbing.
That was the last I saw of Phil.
Saw you walk inside a bar, he said something to make you laugh. I saw both your smiles were twice as wide as ours yeah. You look happier. You do.
I took a walk outside to try to get my mind off things. Then I saw him. And someone else. Phil was walking with someone who was even taller that him, 6'5 maybe. He was much more fit and handsome than me. He had a nice jawline and structure. He didn't look like some emo teen like me even though I'm 25. He was much better than me. Phil looked better than when we would take walks, even though that was rare because I thought neither of us like human interaction. I saw them walk into a bar while laughing. It seemed that all his troubles went away because he left me. I guess I only brought him down.
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you, ain't nobody love you like I do. Promise I wouldn't take it personal baby, if you're moving on with someone new. 'Cause baby you look happier. You do.
I shouldn't blame myself. But I have to. He said it himself that I had too much shit in my life. Who else is there to blame.
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too. Until then I'll smile and hide the truth. 'Cause I know I was happier, with you.
I heard my phone go off, It was Chris asking how I was. I told him just fine and put a smile to reassure him. Even though it's all a lie. I thought that Phil and I were going to be together forever. We would lay in bed feeling happy and talk about the future. I can't move on. I only love Phil. It was all too much for me so I ran home.
Sat in the corner of the room. Everything reminding me of you.
I went to several different places in the apartment and sobbed. First was the lounge. I sat on the sofa and thought about how we used to eat pizza on here and watch movies cuddled up. Or we would sit and laugh at memes and show each other.
Then I went to the kitchen. You may not think of it but there are memories in here. Cooking pancakes, baking videos, the baking video for Halloween were a called him dad and everyone flipped. We never told the internet. Now what will they think. I picked up my cereal and saw that it was full. I haven't eaten it in a while. That was our thing. Out of anger I picked it up and threw it across the room and cried.
I then went the worst place of all, his old bedroom. Some of his stuff was still here, but the room still seemed to have a lot less color in it. No bright bed sheets, or pointless items. He left the plushies I would get him for Christmas. The blow fish one was my favorite. I laid on the bare bed and cried as it somewhat still smelled like his sweet scent of flowers.
I finally went to the office. All the gaming videos our son dil. Horse dating simulator, and many others. I miss him.
I know that there's other that deserve you, but my darling I'm still in love with you.
People who are more attractive and less depressed and troubled deserve Phil. Not me. He's a ray of sun and all I did was dim his light when he tried to brighten me. I still love him. I want his hugs again, I want to wake up to his blue eyes staring at me like he did. I don't want anyone else. I can't ever have anyone else. Nobody will love me the way he used to, but every good thing comes to an end. I don't deserve anyone.
Baby you look happier, you do. I knew one day you'd fall for someone new.
I can't stop thinking about his smile when I saw him earlier. The way he laughs and sticks his tongue out. I miss it. I knew this couldn't have lasted. I'm just some dumb person who doesn't deserve anyone. I'm trash, not like fandom trash. I'm trash because I'm used and worth nothing. This was inevitable nothing good stays with me.
But if he breaks your heart like lover do.
I didn't trust that guy he was with. I wonder how long they've been together. Was he cheating on me. I don't think he could do that. Phil's too nice.
I heard the door open, it was probably Chris or Pj coming to try to help me. I've been pushing them away for a while now because I don't want sympathy. I heard something drop in front of me.
I peeked out and saw a bunch of limes. "Sorry." I heard a familiar voice say. "I'm not very good at pick up limes, but will you be my boyfriend again."
It was The bright blue eyes I've missed. The black hair and pale skin I've missed I sat up to hug him, then reached out to nothing.
I woke up.
Just know I'll be waiting here for you.
