I Have No Excuse

Untitled Part 20

Prowl had taken to searching for comfort from Blaster and I. We tried to be there as much as possible, but we had to leave at some point and there were times when we couldn't be there during the day. Blaster had his own goals and I was pulled away on a patrol or rescue. Or of course there was the forced family gathering for us richys for show. My sister just ate it up. Holidays were tense and they were pushing me to get a 'real' job and of course father hinted at pulling strings to get me into a good college. Besides that and heading home I was with Prowl. Prowl spent the rest of that time in his nest. Hiding from the staff and his neighbors who tended to watch him more intently since his escapes. He only ate at night now or when Blaster and I came. He only took what we gave him during the day. At night he'd take it into his nest and the only evidence we had that he was actually eating at all was the fact that he was throwing the bones out of the tank and onto the floor in front of the tank. He had made it easier for us previously by moving the bones off to the corner far off corner of the tank as he preferred things clean, but this was new.

We had to go down into the tank to check the nest previously as he had been just bringing the fish into his nest and leaving the bones in there and we had no clue whether or not he was eating at all, but after the second time that happened he had started tossing it out and onto the floor. It was a pretty straight forward sign that he wanted to be alone and didn't appreciate anyone snooping around his nest. He never acted out violently or really glared at anyone, but he got his points across just fine without any real aggression or threats.

I sighed as I sat on the feeding platform with Prowl laying with his head in my lap. This had been a norm since his stubborn asshole of a pod mate got himself killed. We would just sit there until I had to leave. He didn't move or make a sound. Sometimes I would talk and other times I had carefully placed music playing. Then there were times where we would just sit in silence. Sometimes Blaster would join us and other times he didn't. There were times I'd come to find that Blaster had beaten me to it. We'd pull out the loose and dying scales since he hadn't been doing it himself lately. This was much worse than back in the cove.

"I know you're hurting and all, but this whole hiding all day isn't good for ya either. I kinda get where you're coming from if ya believe it or not. Sure no one in my family has gone and died besides a great grandfather that I never knew, but I do in a way." I spoke absentmindedly that morning. "I know that despite how my sister acts I'd do whatever I could for her. It's a very complex feeling really. I mean I know that if I told her not to do something that she'd go and do it anyway and when she realized that I was right she'd never bring it up. We don't and probably never will have a relationship that's even close to half of what ya had with Barricade and the rest of your pod as we have been practically ignoring each other for since we hit our teen years, but I've done some things for her. I've pranked every ex boyfriend that she's ever had just because she is family."

I sighed again as the cool sunlight fell on us through the dome above. Prowls newfound little fan club was watching us. It was a usual thing now, but I had to wonder what was up with them. They had threatened and went out of their way to either ignore Prowl and Barricade or try to aggravate them, but now they just watched quietly. I pulled out a few loose scales that just barely hung on to his side. It was quiet.

"It's kind of sad. We used to be so much closer. Maybe I do it for what we used to be. We, as richys, tend to have our friends picked out for us. We bonded on hating our forced friends. Hiding from them and doing whatever we could to ditch them so we could do what we wanted to do. I remember we hid in the attic in the far corner behind all these boxes for hours. Back then she wasn't afraid of the spiders and their webs so it was fine. We sneezed from the dust and giggled as we talked about what they were doing downstairs as we played board games we had stored up there. We were home schooled back then and were stuck with private tutors and we were all we had." I paused to take a breath as I lost myself in the memory of what we lost. "We did everything together back then. We had to literally beg and pester our parents every chance we had to get to go to an actual school with other kids. That wasn't often as our parents just left us with the two maids. They were more than enough for us from the way they think. Less money and having one each following us and cleaning up our messes and feeding us and it was fine in their book. They really only had us because it was expected of them as people in high society I think."

I was probably an embarrassment. I hummed to myself a second. I already knew they didn't like my working here. They were either pissed or thinking about disowning me. They never threatened it before, but from how they were never around I wouldn't put it passed them. They had no doubt forgot about us when they were on business. We didn't exist really unless it was for some gathering the way I saw it.

"When we finally got into a real school, of course that was after the argument that we didn't want to go to a high quality school with our forced friends, that was when we were forced apart. For the first time we were separated and we had to socialize with others. It took some time, but we made our own friends and... Well we drifted apart. It was subtle at first and before we knew it there was this... Rift between us. It was like there was this wall and any attempt to break it down was awkward and we just quit trying. Her friends fed off her high status and money while mine couldn't care less. Nat... She started playing dress up for mommy and daddy and followed their little plans and I... Well I'm here."