I Have No Excuse

Untitled Part 19

Barricade was less like himself. Sure he'd growl and he'd threaten anyone who came by, but it was done in such an odd mix of exasperated and a tired fashion that it was a cause for concern. He tore at the bandages and everything, but it was with less drive. It was more out of stubbornness and habit than anything that he kept doing it. He seemed far too tired to try much harder. He spent a lot of time on the sandy bottom and barely moved. He even just let Prowl rewrap the bandages without a fight. To make things more worrisome than they already were Prowl had taken to laying with him rather than within his nest.

Barricade glared at me as per usual when I walked up to the tank. I chewed on my lip as I watched him back. His eyes didn't have as much fire in them as per usual. I touched the tank and he just narrowed his eyes. No growling. No lunging. He did not look well. Thankfully he had another appointment today. I leaned on the tank with a sigh.

"Just what have ya gone and done to yourself this time? All ya do is cause trouble. Can't ya just... I don't know, not? I mean look at yourself. You're not doing that well the way you're going it. Prowl's worried. Aid's worried. Arcee and Blurr are worried. Everyone's worried about ya here. I mean this is starting to bother me. Sure I'm more worried about Prowl if ya kick it, but I don't want ya to just die either."

He hadn't moved through my little one way chat. He just watched me. Prowl had draped himself over Barricade long ago and had refused to move. He would occasionally pull out a loose scale. Barricade normally didn't like it when he tried to groom him and would make little grumbling noises until he was done, but he was silent this time around. Just letting him check and recheck without so much as a twitch. That had been a big red flag. Then of course there was the fact that their neighbors had been looking over at them more and more often. Now it was near constant watch. Prowl didn't pay them any mind. He had been ripping apart the fish and bringing the scrapes to Barricade for a while before he even stopped doing that.

"Ya know maybe if ya actually tried to heal you'd be fine right now. I don't know what possessed ya to go and do this, but you've really got yourself in a bad situation now. I can see the signs here. You're really not yourself and add that to the guys next door watching ya and being more passive toward ya and I'd say with confidence that ya ain't doing so well. I really hope ya didn't do any permanent damage here. That'll be another reason for Ratch to curse ya. Ya know you're his worst patient he's ever had. He keeps cursing ya and swearing that you're Trying to kill yourself. All he does now days is complain about ya. That just means he cares though, but then again once ya get better he's gonna hit ya so hard you'll forget what ya did. I mean your ass is grass. No joke." I chuckled to myself as I let my gaze linger on the door. "Ya had better pull through though. I mean think about it. Ya can possibly have another go and Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Then of course ya could see the sea again. Just Think about it. Traveling the ocean with a complete pod again. Hunting and finding a new spot for a nest. There's a lot of things ya will be missing out on if ya kick it now."

He didn't so much as twitch. That halfhearted glare had fallen like he was far too tired to keep it up. He just stared back at me with a dull and near lifeless expression. He really needed some help and hopefully he'd let them help him this time. Barricade didn't even move to fight us. Prowl on the other hand had. Though it wasn't aggressive and he didn't do any damage physically. He whined and pleaded and followed us up to the top. He gave a heartbreaking cry when we took him. The other mers watched silently and it was a relief to finally shut the door.

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Prowl paced and whined, looking at anyone who came in for answers that we didn't have. Nothing that was good anyway. Barricade had opened and reopened his wounds so much that he had left himself open to illness and infection from what normally wouldn't have done any damage. Pair that with the blood loss and how he refused to eat and was forced on a regular basis and he was in worse shape than any of us had thought. His wounds leaked a sour smelling pus and he whined when they were cleaned. His wing fin had a deep infection due to the damage. It was easier the prevent infection than to get rid of it, even i knew that.

He didn't fight them and Ratchet was unnaturally quiet as Aid rambled on and on to himself under his breath. That was enough for us and we didn't know what to tell Prowl. But Prowl had caught on and made it clear that he didn't want to wait. His neighbors that had recently lost a pod member watched him intently as he leapt from the water onto the feeding stand and pulled himself down the steps and to the door. He had apparently been watching us and had figured out the doors because he pulled down on the handle as he leaned on the door as we rushed toward him. He dropped when he got it open a crack and pushed it open the rest of the way. He shoved at us with hisses as we dragged him back to the tank. He had done that on more than one occasion and now we had to have someone there at all times to watch him when the doors weren't locked.

Barricade on the other hand was quiet and none of us were even mildly surprised when he passed. When we brought the corpse to Prowl he didn't move for a while. When he moved to look over his pod member he froze halfway there. Then he did something that none of us expected. He jumped up onto the ledge with us and shoved himself into me with a broken cry. Clinging to me when I moved with another broken sound. Begging me not to leave him. So I held him.