Finn dressed up while Mary was lying on bed. His thoughts were absolutely messed up. What did he just do? Why did he even attempt to sleep with her? They were friends! But what got him crazy was why did she ever pulled back the kiss? If she did not fell something, she would not pulled back. Still, he was confused and truly believed that what had just happened was a beautiful mistake.
Meanwhile, Marybeth thought about herself. Why did she ever pulled back? She did not like Finn. She liked Max; though he had a girlfriend. Finn was just a good friend but... Every time they touched she felt something. Something beyond her control, something that drove her made and let all this happen.
Besides all those messy thoughts, they both enjoyed it. And when I say "enjoyed" I mean they both wanted more but knew it would not be okay.
-I...I think I should... - Finn said pointing at the door.
-Leave.. Yes - Mary replied.
She grabbed some shirt and put it on. Then both went right straight to the door and kissed goodbye. Finn hugged her tight and so did she. He did not want to let go. He felt so good about what happened that though it was not what he expected and they were friends, he would do it all over again.
-Finn.. - she whispered - You have to go home.
-I know - he replied in a husky voice - but let me do this again.
And then, he gently kissed her lips. She grabbed his face and softly stroke it. They knew it was not okay and Mary, of course would not let things adrift.
-Why don't you stay a bit more? - she said between his lips and he looked at her amused - Not for that dumbass!.
-Ok! Hahaha! Then why would I stay?.
-I need to clear things up. I guess it was a mistake..
-There's nothing to clear up... I know it was a mistake and I feel really sorry if I made you uncomfortable.
-Please, do not feel guilty ok? -She replied while everything that she though about was that he said it was a "mistake".
-I will not feel guilty... Trust me, I will not - he said whilst his phone rang. It was a text from Jack; he read it. - Mary, Jack says the office will be closed this week till we come back so we all have time to organise everything.
-Sure..
He got inside the car and turn the radio on after waving goodbye at her from the little window.
-We will fetch you at five on Monday. - He smiled at her.
-In the morning?.
-Of course!!
-Really? - she said while smiling brightly - it's to early! I think I might stay here.
-After all your tough fight? After all this time!?
-Yeah, maybe I should not go...
-I remember this one teenage boy that had the brightest smile, just as you. He said to me once... "Do not let outside shit destroy everything you have ever dream. Even if it's the weirdest dream, they don't know how strong you are" - He said staring at her eyes.
-Jimmy Bloodworth. - She said in tears.
-Oh Lord! I am so sorry honey! I did not mean it - he said rushing out from the car to hug her.
-It is fine Finn... I am just a bit sensitive.
-Have you visit him, lately?
-No.. He is so bad Finnegan... I just.. I am not brave enough, not strong enough - She breathlessly said while crying
-Here.. Come - he said while rubbing her back - Chill love.
She was feeling safe in his arms. She felt that nothing could hurt her or made her unhappy.
-Listen, we are going to visit him before we left, ok? - He said.
-We? You mean.. Us? - she answered while whipping some tears away.
-Yeah, do you want me to go with you?
-I would love it.
-Ok, so... See you tomorrow then - He said.
-Yeah.. -She replied while he got into the car - Call me when you arrive, fine?
-Sure
He left and she entered the house. She was done. All those feeling hit her at once and she did not know how to manage them. She was about to break down. She was polite and respectful and would not tell anyone how bad she was feeling. It was not that she did not trust anyone but she thought that she would bother. So she just belt up.
She was always the funny one, the goofy one. She felt the need to be polite and make jokes. It was like her job to make people happy. She was so worried about other people's happiness that sometimes she forgot about herself. Sometimes she sat in her room and just broke down for no reason at all. She did not even want to exist. It was just all too much sometimes. She could go from perfectly happy to sad in matter of seconds. She just started thinking about her life and all her mistakes and she did not focus on all the good things. Just the bad things. But you are never as alone as you think you are. There is always someone who's going through the same things as you are.
And that other person was Finnegan, but she didn't know it. If someone just looked, even just a little, they would saw the sadness in his eyes. They would saw how he zone out in car rides and stare blankly out the window. Or maybe they would noticed that being the smart and cold twin was the only thing that kept him from breaking. If they just looked.
