"I don't think you realise but you have saved my life.
Yours,
Mary Elizabeth Bloodworth"
Finnegan was dying. As simple as that. He couldn't understand everything he had just read. Was he really willing to lose such an amazing friend for some stupid feelings? He was stronger when they were together; he could move a mountain whenever she was by his side. And though he knew it was weird the fact that he care about her so incredibly much, he still did not want the feelings he held inside to fluorish. He felt so guilty for holding back all those feelings; he did not want to lose her, no. He threw himself on the bed and stared at the floor. Weird isnt it? There had been only like a week or two since he "confesed" but all this shit had already affected their friendship.
He wasn't expecting this to happen, but Mary was expecting to see him coming out of his room and tell her he was sorry; tell her he was sorry about being rude and that he hoped that their frienship was the most amazing thing he had and that he didnt wanted to end it.
Finnegan got off the room and looked at her sitting on the floor infront of him. His eyes were read from crying and his shirt wet of wipping the tears away.
She got up and stood there for a while, then she brusquely took his shoulder with her hand and put her bodies together. He took grip of her waist and brushed his nose to her neck. They both missed their hugs.
Mary crosslinked her finger with his and looked up at his eyes.
- I'm sorry if I made you cry... It wasn't mean to do that...
He just nodded and kept on breathing heavily.
-Say something I'm giving up on you. It's been like two weeks since you have just been totally rude and mean to me ok? And I just can't stand it. I'm sick of you and your fucking feelings. I don't give a damn fuck about anyone else. I took me like a month to realize how important you are to me and that without you I wouldn't have achieved anything, that without you I don't know where I would be. I seriously don't understand what's going on between us and it drives me nuts the fact of not knowing what are you feeling or what do you want.
-Does that bother you? - He asked entering to his room.
-It does indeed. - She answered following him trying to hold on the tears.
-Well I'm sorry
-That's not going to change anything.
-I'm sorry
-For god's sake Finnegan. Stop saying you're fucking sorry.
-Why?
-Because that doesn't change the fact that...
-What?
-That doesn't change the fact that I should hate you.
- And why don't you hate me? Why do you keep hurting yourself. Don't forgive me just forget me.
- I can't even forget you... And that hurts... But what hurts the most it's that... That I don't hate not even a little, not even a bit, not even at all.
-Why are you mad at me? I have always been there for you. And where were you when I needed you? Where the fuck have you been?
-People change you know? They end up having nothing to say to each other. Even if they were best friend the week before. And that is what happened to us.
-If you just looked Mary... Even a little, you'll see how i love you with every part of my heart. How you mean the world to me. You're never with me when I need you, and I've always been there for you. Always.
-Love is not about possession. Is about appreciation.
-Don't come with all that poetry bullshit ok? This is serious because apparently it's all my fault. I let you down. I don't speak to you, I'm rude and yeah those thing are true. But what about you? You didn't even tried to talk to me. You didn't even care about me not talking to you.
-I'm standing right in front of you asking what the hell is your damn problem! That doesn't count as caring does it?
-See! Everything you say is just to blame me
-I'm not blaming you!
-You constantly are!! It always my fault and I'm tired of being the stupid one. Whipping your tears away after some asshole hurt you. I'm tired of treating you like if you're always right when you're so fucking wrong.
-Who ever told you to always agree with me?! I never asked you to do so.
-I did it because I loved you.
-Loved me?
-Yeah. I used to care about you so incredibly much that I would try to find any way to get back to you. It didn't matter if you had killed someone, I was always there.
-Well! Then you hate me because I let you down! Lets be honest Finnegan. Tell me. You hate me. Be brave and tell me what you feel.
-Do you know what I feel?
-I'm fucking asking you what your feelings are!
And then he kissed her. Leaning every time closer to her body, he took grip of her waist and sat down on bed letting her put her legs beside him. They both pulled in the kiss, forgetting in a matter of seconds whatever they had been fighting before.
-Why are you kissing me? -she asked not even trying to get away from him.
All he did was turn around and get on top of her. She grabbed his hair and took his head off her neck.
-Why? - she asked again staring at his eyes.
-Do you really want me to tell you?
-Yeah
-It'll be much funnier if you find it yourself. - he grinned and pulled his fingers under Mary's shirt.
She grabbed his hands and took them off her body.
-Do you think this is going to change anything?
-You asked me what I feel. That's what I feel.
-Bullshit.
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