Chapter 9: Guilt

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Natsu's P.O.V.

"So when are we leaving?" E.N.D. asks.

As soon as I tell everyone who I fully am and what I have done... then we can leave, they will probably want me gone anyhow. I say.

A little later I hear E.N.D. take a deep breath, "Listen despite all of your friendship speech shit I actually don't... hate you, per say... so I'll tell you this... It isn't all your fault you know, most of it was fate... or you know, me?"

Why the hell are you trying to make me feel the least bit better?

"How the hell am I supposed to know! I was created for the soul purpose of killing Zeref. I wasn't planning to live in the same body of some emotional love struck teen going through feelings that you need to fucking deal with man! I mean seriously you got a lot of emotions you need to talk about or something."

Well sorry!

"You should be! How do you think I feel having to help you with these things that are not even my problem!"

Then stop helping mean and just- you know what, why am I even having this argument with you right now? Just go to sleep and in the morning I'll tell everyone everything and then we will go.

"Fine by me."

The next day Happy came to see me in the morning. I talked to him for a little bit just about his mission with Carla and the new progression of Lucy and I's relationship, obviously leaving out some details and ignoring the big issue. After a while I tell Happy that I need to tell Erza, Lucy, and Gray a few things and if he can go get them. He does so and they all get down here in a matter of minutes since they were all upstairs waiting with everyone to hear any more news about me. I ask Happy to leave the room since the information I need to tell them doesn't pertain to him.

"What is it Natsu?" Erza asks in an almost scared voice like asking the wrong question will break me.

"U-Um I need to tell you all one more thing, and I just want to let you all know that no matter how you feel about me after I will always protect all of you."

"Just get on with it." Gray says with only a tad of annoyance in his voice also because he's probably afraid to hurt me in some way if he says the wrong thing.

"Well I guess I should start with Zeref's full name, Zeref Dragneel, and as it turns out I'm his younger brother." I try to say in a lighter tone to try and dull the blow, but by the expressions on their faces I can tell it didn't help much. "How is that even remotely possible? I know the other dragon slayers, including you, are 400 years old but who knows how much older Zeref is compared to them!" Lucy says. "Yah... and I couldn't really tell you how old I truly am because I wasn't his brother for very long." I inform them. "What does that mean?" Gray asks. "I died pretty young due to dragon embers." The look on their faces was a mixture of confusion, shock, horror, sadness, and concern.

"After I died Zeref became obsessed with finding out a way to somehow bring me back to life, and that's how he became immortal. He became too obsessed with the idea of life and death and how to disrupt the balance between the two; however, even after he was cursed he still looked and looked for a way to bring me back. During that time he created the Eclipse gate, the R-system, and the demon books of Zeref, which is how he brought me back to life."

"Natsu what does this have to do with anything?" Erza asks. "Don't you get it! It's all my fault, everything! All of your suffering everything you have been through has been because of me!" "Natsu." Lucy says concerned.

"Erza if it wasn't for me the R-system would have never been created! The reason why you were slave as a child, were tortured, and why Jellal went insane and is now obsessed with redeeming himself! Gray I'm the reason why Deliora was ever created! Why your village was destroyed, why your master gave up her life, and why your parents died only to have your dad be brought back to life only to die again! Lucy the reason why your mom died! If Zeref never created the Eclipse Gate then me and the dragon slayers wouldn't have needed to pass through it and then your mom wouldn't have had to use too much power to help us get through!" Hey maybe you should slow down. E.N.D. pipes in. "No! It's all my fault everything! It's probably a good thing that I'm dying! D-Don't you think i-it's be-" I stop talking as soon as I feel a burning sensation on my cheek.

I turn my head to see Erza lowering her hand after slapping me. I look over at Gray as he just looks at me with concern all over his face while Lucy has her hands covering her mouth as her eyes are wide with tears in them. "I-I-" Not knowing what to say I run my hands through my hair and crouch down.

"Why do you keep blaming yourself for everything!" Erza yells. "Yes, Zeref tried to bring you back to life, but did you ask him to do that? No! He did it all on his own. The repercussions after his actions was not your fault in the least." Erza finishes. "I'm not going to lie I did blame the deaths of my village on E.N.D.'s head, and after finding out it was you I was furious. But I realized a while ago that none of it was your fault, or even E.N.D.'s fault, I just wanted to blame someone. So would you get off your high horse already and stop feeling sorry for yourself." A small smirk forms on my face but immediately disappears when I see Lucy walking towards me. She leans down to me so we are eye level, grabs the collar of my shirt, and kisses me.

When she lets go she stands back up and looks down at me. "What happened to my mother and everything else was not your fault! And if we have to remind you one more time that it isn't I think I'm going to go crazy!" I let out a breath and smile up at her, "Yah I know your right, I'm sorry." She also takes a breath, nods, and smiles down at me in satisfaction and relief.

"I have several questions," Erza says walking towards me when she suddenly grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me onto my feet so she can look at me straight-on. "but what the hell did you mean by dying." Erza says looking straight into my eye as serious as I have ever seen her. "Remember how I said I died." "Yes." "Well Zeref brought me back using his magic, and kept me alive using his magic as well. So like when Juvia killed Keys and the puppets using his magic to live died," Erza slowly releases me as realization hits her "I'm dying as well."

"Why didn't you tell us this earlier!" Gray yells at me. "Because I wanted to tell you guys everything first." I say. "Well what do we do?" Lucy asks distressed. "Well apparently E.N.D. has a plan. I close my eyes letting E.N.D. takeover my body.

I hear E.N.D. say "Yes I do." with a huge grin on my face and the three people in front of me having faces of uncertainty.

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A/N- Heyyyyyy guys so I'm not dead, I think. I am soooo sorry for the EXTREMELY long break and I will try not to do that again but I make no promises. 

Please vote and comment because I really want y'alls feed back. 

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