overdosed

six// masked deal

josh was very groggy the next morning after awaking on tyler and jenna's couch. He had waken up before the other two, so he helped her myself to a cup of coffee and proceeded to lie down and scroll through instagram. Turning his head over, his eyes laid upon Jenna. she's so beautiful, he thought. A grin spread across his face. The tangles in her blonde hair and smudged makeup never looked more amazing. The small freckles that dotted her face were like sprinkles placed perfectly upon a cupcake. Josh was stunned at how gorgeous she was, and he deemed it impossible that tyler could ever notice the small details like he. Yeah sure, he calls her beautiful and compliments her, but does he really notice the features that make her so? Josh doubted this. The pain in his body shook him out of his trance. His body was aching for something. Josh knew what he needed. Drugs.  They kept him sane and helped him deal with his problems. The stress piled up from the previous night definitely made him yearn for more. Opening the messages app, josh texted his dealer.
  "hey. i need more. I'll pay whatever, just meet me somewhere."
   Anxious, josh waited for a reply.  A shuffle in the bed across the room made josh jump. Jenna sat up tiredly and rubbed her eyes, smudging her mascara in raccoon like rings.
   "Good morning," she smiled, speaking to josh.
    "Morning. how'd you sleep?" josh replied, looking back down at his phone.
    "fine," she set her eyes on tyler, "just a little worried about him."
    "Yeah me too. he's my best friend."
    "Well he's my husband," she said back sternly. Josh didn't reply after that ; he didn't know what to say. A silent tension filled the air. Over the next few minutes, the two didn't speak. Until Jenna did.
    "I'm sorry. that was rude and inconsiderate. you're his best friend and have an unbreakable bond with him and i shouldn't have disrespected that. i apologize, really, i do. I'm just very worried and i care about him too," she spoke slowly and cautiously. Josh shook his head and told her it was fine; that he knew she was just scared for him. Before jenna could say anything back, a text alert came from Josh's phone. This sound woke tyler. He rolled over and opened his eyes. Before looking at jenna, he looked at josh and asked how he was. Happiness flooded josh, that he was first, but not enough to drown out his pounding need.
    "I'm fine. How are you feeling, Ty? any better?" josh replied. He glanced down at his phone and opened the message. It read, "i'm out of heroin. I got some meth if you wanna try smoking it. $100 for the bag i got. meet me in the walmart parking lot in 30 minutes. deal?" 
Before josh could reply to the message, tyler spoke again.
   "Feeling a bit more relaxed. Haven't heard them yelling yet this morning, and they kept out of my dreams." Jenna was about to start saying something to Tyler when Josh shot up off the couch and began to scramble for the few items he had brought: his clothes, phone, phone charger, wallet, and shoes. Ignoring tyler and jennas shouts asking what he was doing, he bolted out the door without saying a word. As he ran down the porch steps, he felt the burning sensation of tyler's eyes staring him down while he ran towards his car.
    Josh fumbled through his keys and eventually opened his car door. Sitting down, josh grabbed the handles and swung the door shut. Before it slammed, josh heard tyler shout, "Josh, wait! What's wrong?" These words lingered in the air of the car, repeating over and over in josh's head. Sorry buddy, but there's a lot wrong. so many things that are fucking wrong. but you'd never realize. Speeding, almost hitting the stop sign, josh's shaky hands steered towards the walmart. Normally a ten minute drive, but that time cut in half due to his anxiety induced driving.  As he pulled in the parking lot, a man about half the size as josh became visible. He wore a large coat and had a scruffed up beard. He's here already. Before pulling up to him, josh put on the ski mask he kept in his glove box. He didn't want anyone seeing him. As he neared the man, the car slowed to a stop. Taking a deep breathe, josh opened the door and calmly walked over to the guy. Digging into his pockets, he grabbed hold of his wallet. He could barely see trough his ski mask, but maybe it was better that way. maybe then what he was doing wouldn't be so bad; if he couldn't really see it.
   The interaction was short and quick. Josh threw the money violently at him and urged the man to hurry up. Not even two seconds after he pulled the bag out his coat pocket did Josh grab it a start quickly walking back to his car. Sitting down, he examined the bag and its contents. Then his phone started ringing. Noticing that it was Tyler, he ignored it.

----time skip to later that evening------

   Josh sat on his bed and lit the pipe. He wasn't sure how he felt. He and his body were used to heroin. Meth might be a nice change of pace, tho. The burning smell entered his nose and he knew he had to hurry. Quickly bringing the pipe to his mouth, he inhaled, taking in all it had to offer. Josh felt nothing. 8 hits later, he was feeling everything.
every hit him at once. the pain. tyler , jenna , the tour. he felt bad for himself and tyler . Josh knew he was inconsiderate considering his friend was just diagnosed with a life changing mental illness. he shook his head, trying to stop the tears, until his eyes stopped to see a shiny metal; a blade.
he took it and started cutting his pure, bare legs, as his arms were filled with the marks. He continued to cut deeper until a wave of red wash over his pale skin, satisfying him. The satisfaction lasted a second before it ran away. The emotions rushed back, and he started crying as he kept on vandalizing his skin with the razor. He cut as if his legs were a loaf of bread, quick and smoothly . Standing up and ignoring the blood on his legs, he took a long look in the mirror; he felt angry. he ran to his room and frantically looked around as if he was looking for something, although he didn't know what, when he tripped over his shoe.  then he saw pure darkness.