Let's just say that for the past year I'd had a crush on Shane Sumner, and it didn't look like it was going away any time soon. I'd dated in between admitting my feelings for him to myself, thinking that when I'd done that, it would be over and I could move on, but all those mini relationships never lasted more than a month. For whatever reason, I was thankful for that.
Everyone was sitting around our small flat, drinking coffee and just chatting with one another, but I didn't make a sound. My feelings for Shane were still mulling over in my head.
Today was Valentine's Day, and it would be the perfect day to tell him that I liked him and that I wanted him to be my boyfriend... but, living up to my name, I was timid, and if anything slightly scared. If I did tell him what I was thinking, he could turn me down and laugh in my face because he didn't feel the same way and then that would destroy our friendship.
"What's up, Drew?" Shane said quietly, snapping me out of my inwards trance. I realised he'd scooted over beside me so as not to be heard by the others.
I shook my head, "Nothing, I'm just thinking."
My Timid tilted his head to one side, frowning slightly. I always told him what I was thinking, and he did the same with me, so for me to back down from his question - something wasn't right, "What about?"
"Just... things..." I said with a shrug, downing the last of the coffee, pulling a face at the bitterness that hit me almost immediately after it.
"Can't you tell me?" he pouted, pulling his puppy dog eyes.
I shook my head, "It's a secret." I hadn't meant to say that because now he'd really want to know.
He perked up slightly and moved a bit closer to me, "Aw come on, I can keep secrets! You know I can!"
I bit my lip and thought out telling him, but shook my head again, "I can't..."
He pulled me onto his lap and hugged me from behind. God, he really was making this hard for me! "Come on Drewie," he whined, "Tell meeeeee."
I had this hate-love thing with the nickname Drewie because I loved when he called me it, but hated it because it almost always made me tell him anything he wanted to know.
"I-I can't," I stuttered, standing up quickly and almost falling over my own feet causing another three pairs of eyes to fix themselves on me, "I'm sorry, I need to go." I said, jumping over Shane and running out the front door.
Running down the stairs I heard Shane and Laurence shouting my name but I didn't stop and kept going, as far as my feet would take me. Shane couldn't know what I thought of him. He would hate me and think I was an idiot. If not that, then it would break our friendship up because he wouldn't be able to match his feelings with mine. Either way I couldn't see us ever being together. Ever.
I stopped in the park, and I didn't notice until I was kneeling that it was where we all used to come to play guitars and sing. I was at least a mile from the flat and I couldn't be bothered running any more so I stayed put, dropping onto my back and pressing my hands to my eyes.
"Drew!"
It sounded like Shane....Oh shut up conscience, I'm not in the mood for more of your stupid games. My name was shouted again and I continued to ignore it, squeezing my eyes shut even more and trying to block out the rest of the world around me.
"Drew!"
That one slipped through, but sounded closer than the last two. I sat up and looked around me to see Shane running towards me. Not an imaginary Shane, my Shane.
"What are you doing here?!" I asked panicked, standing up but before I could move he had enveloped me into a tight hug and was keeping me there by a hand on my head and one snaked round my waist.
"I'm so sorry, I should have known that you didn't want to talk about whatever you were thinking and I kept pressing on about it and I promise I didn't mean to do it but you-"
I quickly kissed him, surprising not only myself but him also. What had I just done.
You stupid, stupid person Drew! He's going to hate you forever!
I pulled away, and suddenly felt a tear go down my cheek which I mentally hit myself for doing that in front of him, then hit myself again for kissing him, "I-I'm s-so s-sorry," I stammered, backing away from him.
He looked more in shock than anything else as he stood there. He hates me, he hates me, he hates me, "Was that what you were thinking about earlier?" he finally said, looking up at me.
I nodded and dropped my head down, I couldn't look at him, I'd ruined everything, "I'm sorry... for ruining everything Shane."
I heard his feet crunch against the grass as he closed the distance between us and took one of my hands, "You didn't ruin anything Drew."
I couldn't take my eyes off our entwined hands and bit my tongue before I said something else that screwed things up. He took my hand, but that didn't mean anything. He was probably just doing that so I wouldn't feel as shitty as I did.
"Drew, look at me...please?" he said, squeezing my hand a little tighter.
I finally looked up and he leant closer pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. That wasn't to make sure I didn't feel shitty...right?
"What... What are you doing?" I said, pulling away. I don't know why but I suddenly felt a little angry, "Are you trying to toy with my feelings for you?! Trying to make me like you more than I already do?! Because if you are then you're doing a fricking great job of it!" I didn't mean to say it and the moment it left my mouth I regretted it, "Shane, I'm so sorry...I swear I didn't-"
"Will you be my Valentine, Drew?" I stopped and stared open mouthed at him, "Sorry that came out wrong. Will you be Valentine and my boyfriend?"
I nodded, not quite sure what to be thinking. This had to be a dream, but no - this was happening. A grin appeared on both our faces at the same time and I jumped at him, Shane catching me as I koala hugged him tight.
"You're my first proper Valentine..." I said quietly, burying my face into his neck.
"Well...I hope we can have more together every year."
I smiled and kissed him gently, "I'd like that... a whole lot.
"My amazing boyfriend... Drew Woolnough," he smiled, a cute little blush creeping onto his face.
"My perfect boyfriend, Shane Sumner."
