27 Days

Chapter Seven: Sleep Well, Darling.

The apartment feels empty, just like my chest. It feels like this is what it's going to be like forever now.
I tried to get out of my funk since Anna is coming over, but when I look to the wall in the living room, there we are. Smiling. Laughing. Kissing. In love. I want to rip the pictures off the wall and scream but I'm too exhausted to even scream anymore. It feels as if I'm no longer in my head, I'm merely a spectator watching from the corner of the room.
The girl in the room barely looks like me. The face I stare at is pale, the eyes are red with sadness, lips look like they will never form a smile again. I can't help but let a sob out, the girl I see is not who I am. It's not who I have become.
I head to the bathroom to take a short shower and to wash Harry off of me. Once I am out, I get dressed in sweats and a comfy shirt. I grab an empty shoe box from my closet and make my way back to the living room. I begin to grab every picture of us, and put them into the box. What am I going to do with these? I can't destroy them, and I don't wanna give them to Harry. I shut the box and throw it next to the tv. Anna uses her key to get in. One hand is a grocery bag, and the other holds her weekend bag.
"I brought wine, ice cream and a few movies. We can ugly cry then cuddle, I am all yours for the weekend, baby." Anna let a big dimply smile out. I laugh lightly and walk into the kitchen to grab spoons.
Anna pops in Silent Hill as I grab two glasses. She gets changed into her pajamas and grabs some extra blankets out of my hall closet.
"I know this is rough, baby. But you will get through this. If I got through college, you can get through anything!" She let out a chuckle as she sat down on the couch.
"I know, it's just hard. We were supposed to get married and have kids. Move somewhere great and love each other until we died. But life isn't always going to work out how I hope it will." I shrug and sit next to her. Handing her a spoon and a glass, she pops the wine open and pours us some. We begin to sit close, and eat the ice cream while engulfed in the movie.

Several movies later, and a bottle down. I stand up, quietly. I try to not wake Anna up as I walk outside. I know it's late, and I shouldn't call him but I need to hear his voice. It rings for a second.
"Hello?" Harry says in a rough voice.
"Hi." I squeak out.
"Keely? Are you okay?" Harry sighs.
"I guess. Did I wake you?" I begin to pick at the skin around my fingers.
"I was sleeping, but it's okay. I'll always pick up the phone for you. I love y--I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."
"Oh. Harry?"
"Yes, Keely."
"Do you think that maybe if it was a different time that we could work out? Maybe if I was older and more mature."
"Hey, you're perfectly fine right now. Just need to get your shit together, I'm sorry. Maybe in the future once you're okay, we can." Harry is probably running his fingers through his hair right now.
"I miss you. I'm sorry that I'm such a huge fuck up." The tears begin to fall.
"No, no. You're not a fuck up, you're just lost and you need to find your way. Please stop crying. You just need to get some help before you end up killing yourself."
"I'm sorry I called. I shouldn't have done this. I hope you have a nice life Harry. I love you and I always will." Another sob slips out, my face is soaked as I hang up before Harry can respond.
I want to be a decent human being, a person who deserves to be loved. But I never feel like I will be. I reach for a cigarette, thankful that I brought them with me and start to inhale. My hands are shaking, my heart is racing. I wish I wasn't like this. I could've been someone, I could've gone to college and became a teacher. Instead I don't even have my high school diploma, I wait tables for a living at a decent restaurant. But everyone else there is going somewhere with their lives.
I finish my first cigarette and pull out another one when I hear footsteps coming from around the corner. It's too late for normal people to be awake, so I'm tensed up. It's probably someone that is drunk or someone that is homeless. I see curly hair, a hand running through it. My heart stops for a second.
"Harry?"
"Fuck! You scared me, why are you outside?" He slides his hands into his pocket.
"Thinking. Smoking. Wondering when my life went to shit. Why are you here?" I cross my arms across my chest wishing that I would've brought out a coat or a blanket.
"Here," Harry slides off his jacket and hands it to me, "It's too cold out here. Wear my jacket."
"Harry, please don't do this."
"I just don't want you to get sick, I care about you."
"Will you answer the question? Please." I grab the jacket from him, and enable the scent that comes off of it. Smells just like him. Home.
"I had to come and make sure you were okay."
"Harry, I hate to break it to you. But you broke up with me. I'm definitely not okay, and you know this." The tears coming rolling down again, floodgates failing just like always.
"Please don't cry." Harry reaches out for me and I jerk back.
"Don't touch me."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to comfort you." His face drops.
"Will you please leave?" I ask as I hand his jacket back.
"Okay, I will. I'm sorry about this, Keely. I love you." And with that last statement, he walks down the street and out of my life. I grab my belongings and head inside. Anna is still sleeping on the couch, so I woke her up and said that it was time to go to bed. She got up and slowly trudged to the bedroom. She throws herself down on the left side of the bed, on top of the blankets.
"Anna, get under the blankets." She flips me off then mumbles some incoherent statements. Eventually she gets annoyed with me trying to push her and gets under the blankets. I climb in next to her, and she wraps her fragile arms around my waist.
You know, it's the not the same as sleeping next to Harry but it's a warm body. She kisses the back of my head and falls into her dreams. I lay awake for awhile, thinking over my life. Finally I drift off into sleep, seeing green eyes and curly hair.

I wake up to an empty spot next to me.
"Harry?" I call out. Realizing what I said, I sit up and put my head in my hands. Get your shit together girl.
"Hey, girl. You're okay. I'm gonna make some breakfast for you." Anna came into the room and gave me a tight hug. I climbed out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Anna was making a mess while tying to make me chocolate chip pancakes. She was laughing at the flour, and how somehow it ended up in her hair. I actually laughed too, she wiped said flour all over the butt of her pants.
And in that moment, I knew this too will pass.
It's going to take time. But my heart will mend.