To The Moon

Part 1; Chapter 5

The sand was so much colder towards the ocean, away from the fire and the people. I couldn’t see the end of the beach, it was too dark. The bright water from this morning was now dark and the white tips looked gray. The crescent moon above was the only light coming down on the beach. Street lights seemed eternities away, it was just me and Matt. Matt and I. 

I used to be terrified of him. Remembering now, I didn’t want to be near anyone that slightly reminded me of my mother. He was one of those people. Partying all night even at the mere age of fourteen. Everybody expected he did drugs, the way he would come to school with bloodshot eyes and how he was always tired. 

I think it was the young mind that made me imagine those things that I thought he would do to me. I don't think that he particularly scared me as a person, but the things that I figured he would do to me on drugs kept me up at night. Whenever I saw him walking in the hall I did my best to walk on the opposite side so he wouldn't attack me. At that age I was completely aware of what happened to women at night who were out by themselves. With that knowledge, my brain created dreams where Matt would rape me in the hallways of school. Quite frankly, I don't think I ever overcame that fear.

But here I was, walking with him - at night - by myself. I could feel the alcohol lulling me to a deeper place and I watched the waves turn white at the tips to help keep me stable. He had put his cup down before we left, handing it to a guy with a buzz cut whom I didn't recognize, so now he walked in long, slow strides swinging his arms back and forth so that his fists hit each other. There was something in me that thought I should be the first to speak, but thankfully I didn't need to worry about it as he started a conversation for me.

"So, Scarlett, how have you been?" I figured from that point on it was going to be awkward.

"I've been...I've been alright." There was no other way to describe my life up to that point.

"Nobody knew where you went back then, we thought you were murdered or somethin' ha ha," his dry humor didn't amuse me.

"Not quite. Might have well been though."

"Oh."

I could sense that he was suddenly feeling awkward and most likely regretting coming with me on this walk.

"So, what's been happening while I've been gone?" I tried to lighten it up a little bit.  

"Well, a lot really. That group of yours kind of broke apart as if you were the glue that held them together, there's been three consecutive deaths in the past five years, and our schools decided to combine with some of the suburbs around San Diego - that's why you see all these different people here."  

"Three?"  

"Three what? Oh. Deaths. Yeah, Jack's brother was drunk driving with one of his older buddies and they crashed. His brother's in jail now for Murder to the Second Degree or something like that. Anthony, who you probably don't remember, drowned a couple years after you left when he got a cramp while swimming. There was no one home. The oldest one though is this girl named...oh what was it...Anna, I think? She killed herself. In her back-yard I think, under a palm tree. She looked like she had prettied herself up before she did it. Took the pills, I mean."  

"Wow. This really is hell. I don't remember anyone named Anna, but I remember the other two."  

"I didn't really know her either."  

We walked in silence for a little while, waiting for the other one to speak. I kept looking at him through my peripheral vision, staring at his blue eyes, the curls in his blonde hair, and his body. Everything was perfect, because it wasn't perfect. Everybody here in this damn town had the perfect bodies, but he didn't, I think that's what made him look so perfect.