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2.

I spent the drive to Louis' apartment informing Liam of my plans for my time off from uni. Essentially it was a bit of soul searching, visiting old friends and old haunts. I'm not going to lie, I'm really looking forward to Byron Bay, my first stop once I've visited my brother.

"So how long are you staying in America?" Liam asked me, momentarily taking one hand off the wheel to pat my leg.

"I'm not entirely sure yet" I told him honestly. My mum was partially right, I haven't really thought this through, I'm just going to wing it like I do with everything else in life.

"How have you been anyway, since...you know" I let my voice trail off as I thought about their lost band member, not trusting my voice to utter his name without making me tearful.

"Well actually, we've seen a lot of him...he's thinking of coming back to us' Liam told me gently, squeezing my leg once more.

Oh. Louis didn't mention that. What if I see him? I don't know if I can handle that, not after the last time I saw him. Unwillingly,  my mind began thinking back to that last interaction...

He threw his cigarette on the ground, stomping on it before turning his attention back to me.

I watched the end slowly fizzle out, not trusting myself to meet those dark eyes that move me every time.

"Hannah, look at me" he stepped toward me but I placed my hand out in front of me quickly, stopping him from coming any closer.

"Hannah please" he begged, his voice breaking at the end.

I took a deep breath and allowed myself to meet his eyes and immediately wished I hadn't.

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I felt the tears start to pour from my eyes and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to stop them.

There was no doubt about it, I loved this man with every fibre of my being. He makes me the happiest I've ever been, there isn't a single time I look at him without knowing just how lucky I am to wake up next to him every morning. He is my first and probably only true love. Sure, he makes me cry. Boy how he makes me cry. He's broken my heart more times than I'd like to remember, but every time he's been there to kiss it better and piece it back together again.

There are some people in this world that can hurt you over and over again and you'll still love them.

For me, Zayn Malik is one of those people.

"I love you so much" I whispered, my hand going to cover my mouth to stop the whimper from escaping.

He sighed in relief before taking another step toward me. I automatically stopped him again.

"I love you more than I even understand. That's why you have to go. You don't love me Zayn" his brows furrowed at my words, his eyes widening in shock.

"Of course I love you Han, that's why I'm trying to fix this! We've been together for 2 years, of course I love you silly" his voice softened, his face turning down in sorrow.

The tears began to fall harder as I thought back to the beginning. We were your typical love story, best friends who fell in love. 15 years old I was, he had a girlfriend at the time.

2 years later and here we are. Been through so much together, always side by side. Everything I did, I did for him.

I took another deep breath before allowing the next sentence to leave my mouth, willing myself to grow a pair of balls and stick up for myself.

To my surprise, my voice came back to me, coming out cold and detached as I felt my eyes ice over.

I met his brown eyes with hostility, those same loving eyes that I'd fall asleep staring into. Those eyes that made me feel so safe and wanted.