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3.

I lit my cigarette and took a seat on the bench, blowing my smoke out at the starlit sky.

It's strange coming home, I've been away so long and changed so much but coming back to it feels like nothing has changed. I'm half expecting all of our old school friends to walk through the door with some cheap bottles of lambrini.

But all of that changed when my brother auditioned for the X-Factor. And then they changed again when my heart got broken.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you can never relive the past, not entirely anyway. Sure it's great to be catching up on old friends, and yeah we've fallen back into our old roles but you can't ignore the fact that we've all changed, we've grown up.

The patio door opened and Esme stepped out tentatively.

I patted the bench beside me and offered her a cigarette from my packet. She accepted gratefully and sat down beside me.

"It isn't always going to hurt, ya know" She blew a smoke ring out into the garden. "Yeah it hurts right now but being back here is bringing back those memories, you just gotta replace them with new ones"

I took another drag of my cig and contemplated her words.

I know that she's right, until I found that damn scrapbook last month, Zayn and my old life had been pushed so far to the back of my memory it was like it didn't even happen to me.

"I still love him" I told her simply.
"I think part of me always will, but the love is laced with pain now and it takes over everything. Happy memories with my brother and my best friend are tainted by him lurking in the background of every one of them" I sighed heavily, depositing the tab of my cigarette in the ashtray.

"I know" Esme agreed, placing an arm protectively around my shoulder.
"But we're going to make new memories without him. You're 21 soon Han, life is completely different to when you was a teenager, we're all completely different. You're here because you've been clinging onto the past and to him but you can't do that anymore. You have to not only let him go but let yourself go too. You're not a kid anymore boo, let yourself change and adapt. You're trying to stay the same in the hopes that he'll come back but he isn't going to, let yourself move on"

I rested my head on her shoulder as her monologue sank in. It kinda brought a tear to my eye how truthful her words were.

Typical Hannah, constantly clinging to the past.

I gave her a grateful kiss on the cheek.

"I've missed you ya know" I smiled as I playfully bumped my shoulder against hers. She really always did give the best life advice.

"Of course you have, without me you've had nobody to drag out your fun and upbeat side. God you must've been so morbid at uni" she shook her head and winked at me.

I playfully punched her in the arm, a little harder than I intended.

"Ow!" She whined as she got up from the bench, pulling me up with her.
"Can we go get mortal now please?"

Oh I like the sound of that.

One thing you should know about my brother is he is very old fashioned. He could be out in the best clubs, rocking vip areas and throwing back champagne but he doesn't. He'd much prefer a bottle of vodka and spin the bottle.

Which is exactly what we're doing now, truth or dare style.

I can't quite believe that this is happening, it's almost too cliche to think about.