Daimao : I love You, but....

Heart Wavering

The night is still young, when two men walk off from the bar slightly drunk. The taller man seem to be more drunk, lean on the smaller one, whose try his best to walk them home safely. After take a cab to their destination, once again the smaller man, lead their way to bring both of them to the dorm room. After ten minutes of struggling, the smaller one succeeds to bring the taller man on the bed.

"Jezz..., Daichan, how could you be this heavy" Mao stretch out his body to relive his tired muscles. After take minutes to wash his face and tied his long brown hair to his upper head, Mao returns to the room with a towel and a case of water. He sits on the bed beside his unconscious Daichan, gently unbuttons his clothes and takes it off, then wipes Daichan's face, neck, down to his hand and bare chest. Zip off his pants, take it off and replace it with a  shirt and a lose trouser. Satisfy with his work, Mao trace his finger to Daichan's pitch black hair.

"Your hair...., still the same that I remember huh..., I really miss this beautiful smooth hair of your"

"At a matter of fact, I really miss all of you...., your expressive eyes, your bright smiling face, your loud yet beautiful voice, your funny giggling..." Mao sight heavily, dejected smiling in desperate way.

"Even after three years, since I leave all behind, the world that makes us together, united both of us, the glamorous world that tortured and tired me, body and soul. If there is one thing I greatly grateful are, in that hard and wild world I can meet you, knowing you up close and personal, to have you always there for me, stay beside me no matter what, to support me, to take a really good care of me, respect all my thought, listening to all my complain and constantly encourages me. You even more proud than my parent to my accomplishments. Being with you always become my happiest moment, but the happier I am, the deeper pain that I felt"

"Who can ever imagine that from admiration, it turns to be love?. By the moment I realize it, it's already too late. I already fall deep in love with you. My world are up side down, and when the pain is unbearable, I choose to run away from all of it, from the world that take us together, from the society that judge my love for you, from you...., that I love the most but I never allowed to embrace"

"I really am the worst..., I push you away, but enjoyed all your nice and heartwarming care toward me, I even demandingly you to always spoil me, like you always do. I am just a coward that refuses to let you go, while I am the one who's abandoning you"

"Daichan, what should I do? I love you to much, even after this years pass by, even after thousands mile distant that I draw, my love for you still remain the same"

"Daichan...., my dear dear Daichan, what should I do?"

A few minute pass by, the brown hair man stood up, and go to the bathroom to wash his body up. Right after the door shut, Daichan opened his eyes, look at the door with a longing gaze, and there is a deep sorrow in his beautiful eyes.