Daimao : I love You, but....

An old flame, another half

Daichan wake up in the middle of the night, soaked in sweat and rushing heart beat, after a few second, Daichan regain his consciousness, he look down and find his cute Mao sleeping peacefully with his angelic face next to him. Slowly he gets out of bed, step out the room and go the nearest convenient shop.

He buy a box of cigarette and light it, then walking back to the dorm. He sit on one of the bench in front Mao's dorm, enjoying his smoke.

Mao hate it so much, when Daichan smoke, and wouldn't stop nagging about that, that's why, Daichan never smoke around him, but this night is an exception.

It's been over than ten years already, since his painful separation with Eiji. He loves Eiji so much at that time and would do anything even against the whole world, as long as Eiji stay beside him, love him. Daichan smiling, realize how naïve he back than.

Daichan aware of his sexual orientation since his senior year in middle school, but he keep it hidden until he graduate from high school. He revealed him self to his parent before he goes to college and live by him self. His fathers turn his face away and his mother didn't say a word, she just crying and crying.

Daichan pays for his live and study from his part time jobs. One of his part time jobs is a fancy restaurant that provide requested music and song, that how Daichan meet Eiji. That day, Eiji and his girlfriend celebrate Eiji's girlfriend birthday, Daichan sing for them, one thing lead for another thing. It turn out that Eiji's is a researcher and graduates in art major at Daichan's university. And he is takes a very interest in Daichan voice and music skill. Eiji introduce Daichan to musical stage and act community, he tough Daichan everything that he knows.

Little by little Daichan grow a feeling for Eiji, but Daichan never take an action, because he know that Eiji is straight and Daichan cant stand the thought that he will lose Eiji. But old says that we can't cheat a fate, in one of the annual drama seminar, Daichan get drunk and sick, the worried Eiji take Daichan back to his room, before he fainted in Eiji's arm, Daichan confess his feeling for Eiji, and being gay. He even attacks Eiji and kisses him.

Early in the morning, after fully aware of his action, Daichan apologize mercilessly. Eiji just smile and pat Daichan head, told him that he is ok with that, and didn't hate Daichan for what he did and what he is.

A year and a half later, Eiji decide to open up their relationship, and bad thing keep storming.

Until one day, Eiji's father get hospitalize and put Eiji in difficult position, in one side as the only son, Eiji have a responsibility to be the head of the family and run his father legacy, but in the other hand, Eiji loves Daichan more than himself. Daichan is not a heartless man, he see his loves self struggling, and in the end, Daichan give up to Eiji's mother tears, who beg him to let Eiji go.

Daichan look up in the night sky, even after all this year passing by, the pain still remain. After the heartbreaking separation, Daichan swore to himself, never again to love and falling in love, he dedicated all his time, body and mind to finish his study. After graduation, Daichan move to Tokyo and pursue his dream to be an actor.

But it seem that God still not done to tortured him, at one of the musical stage drama that he play, he meet Mao, the 15 years old boys that drown all his attention. Someone that remind Daichan of himself, way back in the past. Someone that he cherishes the most, someone that he can't help but falling deep in love all over again. But his past haunted him, as his loves for Mao grow bigger, the fear grow even bigger. Never has he wanted Mao to have the same painful life as he did.

Its not that Daichan can't notice Mao feeling toward him, he did, but Daichan fully aware that Mao is a very bright man with a very bright future await him. Beside that, Daichan have enough, never he want to face another family happiness ruin before his eyes. Never again he could stand witnesses another mother tears, after his mother and Eiji's.

"I thought you have quit smoking..." startled by the voice, Daichan jumps a little, and find Mao already sit beside him, looking ahead than face him, with his beautiful enchanting eyes.

"I did, it's just' occasionally I'm still need it to ease my heart stir"

"Daichan..., I..." Daichan reach out his hand, messing with Mao's hair, smile fondly, than hold Mao's hand, and entwine their finger

"Its ok, I'm fine now" Mao look at Daichan, worried shadowed his dainty face. Daichan smiled and stand up, tightened his grab on Mao's

"Let's go inside, you never good dealing with cold" once again Mao look at Daichan, who smile reassured toward him. After a while Mao smiled and followed Daichan, get into their room, hand in hand.