Auschwitz Awe

Eight

This is a shitty update, sorry. :(

Everyday felt like a torture, I felt so alone. I had no one with myself.

I stopped responding to Peter, but still he hasn't stopped trying. Why does he think I'll believe his lies? I was a fool to think he'd love me.

New people had come in and now I had even made a friend  - Francesco.
He was a nice boy, he was my age and was already in love with me.

He kept asking me to be his girlfriend but I declined, obviously because I was still in love with the man that broke my heart.

"Hello Denise!" Francisco said as he came up from behind me.

"Hello." I replied back politely with a smile.

"So, beautiful, care to eat with me today?" He asked smiling back at me.

"Sure." I replied. Who else could I even eat with? Usually I eat alone.

I followed him to the table and we kept our empty trays there.

"I'll just have milk today instead of bread. Not really hungry." That was a lie. It was so that I wouldn't have to face Peter while he filled up my whole tray.

He regularly offered me his extra food but i denied, so I was now growing weaker. My weight has probably even dropped by 2 KG's or so.

Peter was standing there serving others in a hat, and his uniform which had changed to navy blue in colour.

"Can I have a bottle of milk?" I asked him and he just nodded back at me.

As he handed me the bottle our fingers touched and I felt electricity run through my veins. I wanted him.

I looked into his eyes and I saw a vulnerable boy standing in front of me.

"Next." He called out.

But this was it. We were over, this time, for real.

******

Later that night, after I said my goodbyes to Francesco and was heading towards my barracks I spotted a figure standing where Peter and I used to meet.

A cigarette in his hands as he slipped to the ground and wrapped his arms around his knees.

"You, are you coming or you want to die?" This woman asked me groggily.

I shook my head and she cursed and then closed the door, with a creaking sound. The door was officially closed.

My feet took my to the boy sitting on the ground and smoking.

"Do not smoke, it's bad for you." I told him. I could only see his back.

"You know what's bad for me? You not being with me."

Peter. It was Peter.

"It's been a month. You're still not ready to listen to me. I don't have any reason to live right now schön, I don't care if I die." He said shrugging his shoulders and taking another puff.

I was irritated so I reached out my hand and grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the ground.

He glared at me before he pulled my arm which made me fall on him, and then he cupped my cheeks.

"Allow me, love." He said.

I shook my head as I moved out of his arms.
Don't kiss him, he's fake.

"Hurt me all you want Denise." He said.

"You can't kiss me. You-You are a filthy excuse for a man! You—"

He took my arms and shook it suddenly and it started throbbing. His fingers were leaving an imprint on my wrist.

"Don't you dare say anything. You are not ready to hear me out. It is your fault. You never loved me. If you did, you would atleast listen to me." He said.

His eyes were shining bright under the moonlight and his face in a tight expression.

"Don't you dare talk about love! And leave my hand!" I scolded him and tried to move my hand out of his grasp.

He let go of my hand before he turned his face around and let out a laugh.

"You're locked outside, do you want to sleep with me?" He asked.

"Yeah right. I'd rather spend it outside here in the cold." I spat in his face.

"Don't think you're that special Denise. If I wasn't here you'd be dead by now. I can be very mean if I want to be. Do not test my patience."

"Think again, do you want to come with me?" He asked.

"No." I said shrugging my shoulders.

Just ask me once and I'll say yes. Just once more.

But I kept waiting. And nothing was heard. And after a few minutes I turned around to find no one there. He did leave me.

Shit, I couldn't sleep here all night.
Guess I will have to drink my pride and go to Peter.

I walked to his room and knocked on the door.
He opened the door in pyjamas and tshirt.

"Hi, can I sleep with —"

He shut the door in my face.

I knocked twice, thrice but no one opened the door.

And in that moment I felt nothing but alone. I ruined my own relationship and I needed it back. I will have to listen to Peter.

"I will listen to what you have to say Peter!" I yelled before knocking twice.

But the door didn't open.