Auschwitz Awe

Nine

I felt someone touch my hand and I bolted up really fast, opening my eyes.

"You wanted to listen. So come in." Peter said.

He was standing in front of me, in his uniform and I was lying on the floor, in front of his door.

He didn't let me in last night, he was so harsh. Why should I listen  to him?
But then again, I had taken away his right to explain himself, which I should give back.

I just nodded, and didn't speak and I walked inside his room. His room seemed plainer than usual.

"I got promoted. That's why the uniform change." H said.

Oh how much I missed his voice. God, the only thing that comforted me in pain.

"Good for you," I snapped at him and a broken look appeared on his face.

"The other officers were giving me a party for my promotion. They invited me to their house. I was told that we were about to Fûck this girl, who the officer found pretty. Of course, I'm in love with you, I would never do that. So I decided that when the girl came, I would just say that I don't find her pretty and she Doesn't turn me on and take her with me to beat her up. I was going to make up a lie. I didn't want to hurt her or even you."

I let myself absorb his words.

"How do I trust you with that Peter? Because when I heard your voice, I was pretty convinced you wanted to f- , take innocence of someone." I said.

"That's it right? You never loved me to trust me!" He said, I could feel his tone changing. He was now angry.

"Imagine yourself in my place, Peter!" I screamed back.

"First thing I would've done is listen to you! Because not everything we see or hear is true!" He retorted back. His eyes were blazing with anger and so we're mine.

"It's easy to say that." I said shrugging my shoulders and staring back at him.

He looked back at me, anger leaving his eyes and vulnerability capturing them.

"I'm nothing without you."

"I'm nothing without you either." I replied back.

He stepped closer to me, step by step. His boots clunking against the floor. He looked so handsome in his attire, I just wanted to click a picture of him and keep it forever with me.

"I always, always, forgive you. I can't be angry at you even if I want to, I can't make you stay away from me, how hard I try to. And I can't stop loving you, no care even  if you don't want me to." 

He said.

He placed his hand on my cheek and looked at me in the eye.
A tear dropped from his eye and I, involuntarily bent forward and kissed his tear.

I moved my face down to his lips and smashed my lips on his. It felt so good, tasting him after so long.

I felt like home again, when my lips mixed with his. Our breaths intermingled and our heat became one.
I wanted more, so much more.

I slipped my tongue in his mouth and he did the same, massaging my tongue. Ke kissed me with pure passion and I kissed him back with love and forgiveness. I just couldn't get less of him.

I wanted him to pin my hands down and take me right now.
And that couldn't happen.

But in this moment, this
Was somehow more than enough.