Auschwitz Awe

Eleven

Blue eyes.
The most beautiful thing on the planet. The only thing providing me comfort.. those blue eyes.

I knew I had become weaker, even with Peter's help. My rib cage started poking out from my already thin frame.

I used to cough all the time.
My vision weakened.

While peter just got busier and busier. Lesser late night talks, lesser eye contacts, lesser kisses.

I haven't seen him in four days. I don't even know where he is right now.
I've never felt more alone.
It's hard here. Life.
I was lucky amongst the others to find love. To find Someone to confide in. These people don't even have that.

I was plucking grass from under my toes. It was our break and I came out to the ground, lined by fences.

I looked up at the sun... the only free thing. The only thing that kept reminding me of freedom.

Everyone gets the sun equally. We're Jews, but we have equal right over the sun. Right? Atleast for now.

"Don't sit alone Denise." Francesco, as I recognised appeared from behind.

"Are you okay?" He asked. It was a serious question. Am I okay.
I don't think.

"I don't think so. I'm sick. I'm so tired all the time." I Said.

I coughed and breathless came. I closed my eyes. This started happening with me a lot.

"Yeah. You look sick." He stated.

He plopped done next to me.

"I'm alone too. I miss my mom and my dad. We were always so close." I Said.

Even tears didn't come out now. It was just the memories.

"I miss mine too. My dad and I weren't on the best terms though. I was very rude to him. I didn't realise his importance until I lost him. He used to make food for me, prepare milk for me early in the morning. Drop me off to school. I was blind not to see love." He said.

He smiled. It was a tight smile. Tears were glistening in his eyes.
"I put a curse on him (him: Hitler). He will pay for this Denise. He will have to die. He will have to suffer. He killed many innocents."

*****

It was dark. The light outside our barracks had just been fused by some stupid Nazi who decided it would be fun for us to stay in complete dark with cockroaches crawling above us.

Everyone was asleep.

I decided to sneak out, to go to Peter's cabin to see if he's there. It's a risk, but what's life without a little risks, right?

So I got up from my bed, if you could even call it one, and I went outside, making no noise.

Outside it was dark too, but only the main hallway was lit up with a bulb on the ceiling.

I walked my way through the hallway. Remembering the number of guards that were here the last time, but not now.

Good for me.

Maybe they were in a meeting, I could just wait in Peter's room till that time.

He had given me a key to his room, which I hid safely, it was very dear to me. It was my access to Peter.

I reached his door, and knocked, to see if he was there. Andhe was, so when he twisted open the door, I jumped on him and pulled him in my arms.

"Pete.." I breathed out as I held him close to me after a while.

"Schön, what a surprise!" He laughed.

He closed the door behind him and led me to his bed, where I sat, my back on the back of the bed.

"I missed you," I Said.

He gave me his boyish smile, and those blue eyes shone, just like I remembered them to.

"It was dangerous coming here, I wouldn't say it was a bad decision, but it was a stupid one." He said.

"I love you Pete."
I Said.

"Id do it for you,"

"I love you too, darling." Peter said.

He placed a soft kiss on my forehead before he got up from the bed and pulled out a chair and sat on it.

"If you're off today, why didn't you call me?" I asked him.

He tended up, and but his lip. My Nazi officer, who I was madly in love with, smiled at me nervously.

"It's getting unsafe for us to meet regularly Schön. Almost impossible. They're keeping an eye on every officer. I've now been promoted like you know, so I have to do other duties and I can't be there around you. I want to keep you safe, if they see us together, they might just spare me but you? They'd kill you. And I couldn't stand that." 

What he said was true. I don't want to die. I want to live. But in a place like this? My choices were changing day by day.

"Why are you so weak Denise? I can see your bones poking. Are you not eating?" Peter asked me.

He brought his hand closer to my shoulders, which were bony and he pressed them lightly.

"After you've gone, I'm getting food in equal amounts as others, I'm weakening. I feel sick all the time." I Said.

"Oh no, I c-can't have you this sick. Wait, I'll make something for you." Peter said as he hurriedly got up

"Don't bother, just give me bread or something."

"If that's what you want, then I have this new chocolate bread that just came in the market. Want to have it?" He asked me.

"Yes, please!" I yelled excitedly.

He chuckled at my response before he went to the cupboard before taking out a huge loaf of bread covered in dark chocolate.

"I'll try to be there as much as possible. Things are changing around too, people are killing their own."

"They are worried."

I took a bite of my chocolate bread listening intently to him.

"That's good. They're worry means our happiness."

*******

I'm a bitch ok bye