War Bird

18. Too Terribly Hard

I wait under the table, trying to keep my breathing as quiet as possible. I give them five minutes and then slide out from my hiding place. I straighten out, my back complaining, as I try and absorb what I just heard. Weird beasties brought about by a Curse from a Traitor have taken a personal interest in me, or something. I’m so confused and scared I can barely think. I walk out of the boardroom light-headed, into the paneled foyer, and try to calm my racing heart down. At least it’s peaceful here, no one around to see me freaking out.

My legs are all wobbly and I have to lean against the wall in the corridor to catch my breath. And what did Kull mean by keeping an eye on me? What did she think I was going to do? Or, maybe she meant keep an eye on me as in, protect me? Like whatever it was that went for me in the private healing room, might come at me again.

"Oh man." I feel sick, and I slide down the wall.

"I second that," someone says from behind me.

"What the...!" I leap up, away from the wall. Someone is in there behind the panels! "Who's there?" The bit I was just leaning against slides back and there, within a hollowed out bit, is Captain Finlay, all curled up and looking very uncomfortable.

 "Oh. It's you."

"Astute observation, Miss True," he says smartly and I blush like an idiot. He bends his body, sliding a shoulder towards me, then popping a long leg out onto the ground.

"You were spying!" 

"Yes. And if stating the obvious was a paying job, you'd be the wealthiest girl in Christendom." He hops out and brushes himself off. "I take it from your swooning that you were eavesdropping also?"

"I have every right to know- wait, swooning? Who's swooning?"

"Well, it must be pretty terrifying stuff to learn you're potentially being targeted by the Craft’s number one enemy." He grins at me and slides the panel back over his hiding place. "This is why you should leave such matters to professionals.”

"You're so right," I say. "So why don't I run along and tell your fellow professionals how you hid in the walls of the meeting room to spy on their top-secret meeting?"

"Wait!" His face drops and his warm hand grabs my wrist. "I had to. Don't you see? My men are dying. Every day. And because of their secrecy I don't know how to stop it!"

"You're a Captain!" I pull my arm away. "At least you have training. You know what you’re doing. What about me, Asher and Ed? Miles and years away from home, no clue what’s going on, risking our lives-"

"What, and you think the rest of us are here for our health?" His eyebrows shoot up. "You do know that once we’re called up to serve we cannot refuse?"

"No, but I’ve not been-"

"Oh, that's right, this isn't your war now is it?" His eyes narrow. 

"Yes, actually, it's nothing to do with me. How can it be? I'm not even born yet." The weirdness of the sentence makes my head spin.

"Wrong." He scratches the side of his neck and grins, showing all his teeth. There’s a small silvery scar under his chin and he itches it with his thumb. I force my eyes away. “I can’t believe how obtuse you’re being,” he continues.

"Who do you think you are?" I try to sound strong but I’m failing. "You can’t talk to me like this. I deserve respect, just as much as the next person!" My voice is all over the place. Like I'm about to cry. Fine, I might not be some amazing superstar war hero, but after what's happened to me I don't deserve to be treated like a total idiot.

"Respect has to be earned, Miss True," he says, leaning forward. "You think you're capable of such hard work?"

"Are you capable of not being a stuck-up tosser?" 

He pauses, then laughs and I like what it does to his face. "Probably not." He gestures to the door. "Come on, let's get out of here." We fall into step, and we walk into the tunnel. "Look," he goes on. "We both want to know what's going on, and they simply won't tell us."

"What are you saying?"

"I’m suggesting we help each other out. You tell me what you see going on in the Nightingale Unit. What spells you are seeing, what cures are being attempted. Ask questions, look around?”

"And you're going to do what exactly?"

“You came here with two friends, didn’t you?” He grins. “I'll keep an eye on your sweetheart, make sure he's safe," he says.

"Asher’s not my sweetheart," I growl as we reach the entrance to the Medical Bay. "No one seems to get that. What, is it not possible for a man and a woman to be just friends in this decade?"

He turns, stares me right in the eye for a few seconds and then smiles, slowly. "No, I fear not." He looks around us and backs off. "I'll be seeing you very soon, Miss True." And with that, he strides off down the tunnel.

“I can’t help you, you know!” I watch him leave, my mouth dry. What is it with him? One minute making me feel like the lamest girl he ever met, the next he’s joking around and suggesting we work together, flashing those dimples at me. There’s no way I’m doing any snooping for him, he talks to me like I’m a kid. “If stating the obvious was a paying job, you'd be the wealthiest girl in Christendom,” I say, making my voice sound all plummy like his.

"There you are." I jump for the second time in a few minutes. Grace is standing behind me, her normally sweet face hard. 

"Hi,” I say.

"Was that Captain Finlay I just saw?"

"Yeah." 

"Right. I'm not going to dilly-dally around the point," she says. "You spied on the meeting, didn't you?"

"What? That's crazy! How could I have-"

"I smelled my poultices the moment I walked into the boardroom." She nods at my top, which is now hard and encrusted with old goo.

"And you said all that stuff about me maybe being in danger knowing I was listening?" I shook my head. "Man! Would you even have told me if I hadn't done that?"

"If I thought you could have done something about it, yes,” she replies. "Goodness! Why did you do something so foolish?"

"Because I'm scared," I say. "You do get that don't you?"

"Of course I do," she says and her face softens. "But really, you can't do things like that. You have to muck in with the rest of us and do as you're told. If you'd have been found, you'd have been tossed in the Cage."

"I'm glad I snuck in, though," I shoot back. "When were you going to tell me your suspicions?"

"When I had proper evidence," she admits, turning and walking into the Medical Bay.

"And if something had happened to me in the meantime?"

She stops and looks at me, deep in the eyes. "It would be terrible, and I would be sorry. But that's war."