War Bird

44. There Will Never Be Another You.

“Marla.” My mum’s voice is almost a whisper, cutting through the clouds of sleep like lightning. My eyes open. I’m curled up in my bed, still in my dressing gown. Mum’s sitting beside me, her fingers wrapped round a mug of coffee. “Please get up, Marla.”

I sit up, and rub my eyes. My room looks exactly the same as I did when I last saw it. Mum looks the same too, except her eyes are red and wet. She’s been crying.

“Mum.” I ease back against the headboard. It feels like I’ve been asleep for years. She hands me the mug, a small smile on her face. 

“I’m sorry about the yelling,” she says. “You know, about your results.”

“The yelling?” I sip the coffee, and as the smell hits me, so do a load of images. Broken bodies, bloody runes and shattered glass. Green, handsome eyes. Pain shrieks through my body and I slam the mug down on my bedside table. That face is gone forever now. Mum obviously thinks I’m still annoyed at her and she strokes my hair back from my face.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. You ran off to your room after we read your results and I don’t blame you.” She sighs. “I shouldn’t have said the things I said.”

“It’s okay.” I feel like I can barely breathe, my mind is full of Finlay. If I concentrate, I can still taste his lips. I don’t care what my Mum said to me, it’s not even important compared to the way I’m hurting right now.

“Oh, look at you.” Mum pulls me into her arms. It feels so warm and comforting and she just smells like she always has, like Home. I lean into her and cry, sob my heart out. “Hey, sssh.” She pats my head and rocks me from side to side like a baby. “I’ve been worried sick,” she says. “I shouldn’t have been so...well, you know. I just want more for you than this.” She looks around the room with hooded eyes.

“Believe me, this is heaven compared to some places.” I sit back and wipe my eyes, hiccuping. I daren’t say anything else, so I let her think my tears are all down to our argument. She passes me the coffee again.

“All I want is for you to help me out a bit. You’re an adult now and this means doing things you might not want to. Because it’s right for all of us, not just you.” She pulls a tissue from her pocket and hands it to me. “That’s all.”

“I know,” I say, blowing my nose. I take a deep breath. “I get it. Believe me. I’m going to be better.”

Mum opens her mouth but then there’s a banging at the door, urgent and fast. Mum frowns. “Hang on.” She gets up to answer it. The minute she leaves the room I’m out of bed, pulling on jeans, t-shirt and trainers. I’m yanking my hair back in a knot when Asher bursts in, out of breath.

“Sis,” he says. “You alright?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Fine.” He braces his hands against his forehead. “You remember everything that happened?”

“Yeah, took a few seconds but I do.” I spray Impulse all over my body, then check my reflection. I look like me, just paler, but something’s different about my face. I look older somehow. More determined. “We need to find Finlay,” I say.

“Yeah, I guessed we might.” He shakes his head. “He didn’t die, did he? He’s been right under our noses.”

“Yep,” I say. “I’ll explain more later, but Birdie lived. Grace did her thing and saved her. But then Arkwright told us Kull wanted her blood too, to help her win the war against Hitler. So Birdie wasn’t safe even though Alice was gone. We couldn’t let Kull think Birdie survived so Finlay went on the run with her.”