War Bird

27. Take the Word of Others.

We're back in the Medical Bay, in one of the Private rooms. I'm nervous, my palms sweating. Not sure why. Maybe it's because on the bed in front of me is a half-dead young Hawk. He has a head of thick blond hair and all I can think of is how much he reminds me of Ed. There's a wound on the boy's side, on his ribs, that looks kind of like a burn, and the skin at the edges curls like paper. The centre of the wound is a hot, wet pink and the air is thick with that now familiar smell of charred, dying flesh. His eyes are closed and Grace explains he has been sedated, so he's not in any pain.

"What we need to do, whilst he's unconscious, is to try and cauterise the wound," she says.

"You don't need magic to do that, though," I say. "Just heat right? Even I know that!"

"No," she agrees, nodding. She's plucking the air above the Hawk's body, like she was when I first met her. Her brow crinkles in concentration. "But that's how we do it here. It's a place to start." 

"But..." I look at the blond Hawk, feeling totally useless. "I don't, I mean, I know I'm officially a Sorcerer now, but I don't even understand the language you use-"

"Latin," she says. "The words for the spells I use are Latin. You know that. And that's because you didn't grow up in a family with a Book of Shadows. If you had done, you might have been fluent in Latin. Or Aramaic, maybe even Runes, depending on the magic your family follows. Then there’s blood magic, the darkest and most powerful of all, and R-” she stops, paling slightly. “Never mind, it’s advanced stuff.”

“R- what? What were you going to say?”

Grace hems and haws, and I glare at her. “Fine.” She gives in. “Rooks use it.”

“Hang on, a lot of the True family are Rooks but we all use Runes. At least, that’s what Finlay told me.” I’m so confused, and the lesson hasn’t even started properly yet.

Grace’s eyes widen in embarrassment. “Only the darkest and most dangerous of Sorcerers use Blood Magic. Many Rooks use it of course, but they’re only supposed to use it in the line of their work and only when necessary. It’s a volatile kind of magic. One has to be extremely powerful to wield the strength of it.”

I don’t want to know about blood magic. If my Dad really is a Rook, the kind that uses blood, I don’t think I could bear it. "What do I do?" I swallow hard and try to concentrate, despite a slight sense of panic kicking in. What if I'm about to make the biggest idiot of myself in front of the one person I've met here who I actually get on with? What if I’m actually total crap at this and I hurt this kid?

"Extend your hands over the wound," Grace says. I stretch my arms out. My fingers look really short and stubby compared to her long, slim ones. "Now, calm your breathing. I will supply the words you need to say.”

“But if I don’t understand them-”

“Yes, they have more potency when you understand them,” Grace says. “But it’s just a good place to start, alright?”

“Alright.” I gulp and nod. “Carry on.”

“Right- so when you say those words, focus on healing the wound. I want you to feel the power inside of you- and you do have it Marla - imagine it in your hands and then transfer it to the wound."

"Okay," I say.

"You might want to close your eyes if it helps, but try and picture the wound closing, the infection leaving. See the skin knit back together."

Gross. I think, but I do as I'm told. I close my eyes and flex my fingers, turning my attention inward. Right. Come on brain, come on magical True power, let's see if you really do exist. I think about the wound, and ugh, it's gross. I can't dwell on that though, so I try and think of a smooth, healthy body. I imagine all the ragged bits of skin pulling together, think of blood seeping back into veins. My mind keeps drifting and thinking about other things. I see Asher, and worry how I'd cope if it was him I had to heal. Finlay's deep green eyes make an appearance and I shake my head.

"Concentrate," Grace says. “Believing you can do it is half of the battle.”

I open my mouth to tell her it ain’t gonna be that easy, but even as I do I feel the quiet tingle of energy along my arms, just like when was I being attacked by Private Stanley. It’s a total rush, but I can also feel its weight settling on me, sucking me dry, demanding every titbit of power I have. Come on! I set my jaw. I can do this. I can’t let the likes of Kull and Susan tell me what I can and can’t do. Come on, healing thoughts... I remember when Mum had Ribbon and how much pain she was in, the way the nurses gently touched her, reassured her. I'd felt safe and confident that Mum and Ribs would be alright, and I fill my whole body with that same calm feeling. Now, in my mind's eye, I can clearly see the Hawk's wound healing, and my skin starts to buzz. It doesn't hurt or nothing, I mean, it's not a bad feeling, just weird. My pulse speeds up and my palms feel hot, sort of itchy. It's like I'm ready for anything, a marathon, a fight, just something that will use up this adrenaline. I’m sweating all the way to my fingertips. I nod at Grace, ready for the words.

"Integro," Grace whispers.

"Integro," I repeat immediately. The second the word passes my lips, it's like all the energy flowing through me sharpens to a fine point, directing itself at the injured boy. I can clearly visualise the wound healing in my mind's eye. I see the skin returning to a normal colour, feel the white blood cells fighting back against infection. 

"Now open your eyes," Grace tells me.

"Oh." The wound is still there, gaping and stinking. I’d been so sure, I’d felt the magic leave me. How could it have not worked? A wave of black spots crashes my vision and my legs buckle. I fall against the bed, head spinning. "What's happening to me?"

"Casting requires a lot of energy." Grace runs to my side and props me up. "Especially for beginners. Just take a minute."

"It didn't work," I say. "He’s still hurt."

"You're learning!" Grace smiles and smooths hair back from my damp forehead. "And look at it. It's definitely better. I think you managed to clean it at least, the infection is less." She lets go of me and plucks the air above the Private again.

"What are you doing when you do that?" I ask. I take a deep breath and stand, feeling a bit stronger.

"I'm reading his aura," she says and furrows her eyebrows. “It’s a way of checking his vital signs. His pain.”

"Auras? Really?" I laugh. 

"Yes," she says seriously. "Every person has one."

I sit up and squint. "I can't see anything."

"Well, it's a particular skill of mine," she says, smiling. "But trust me, he does. It's a pure sky-blue. Beautiful. It's horribly riddled though, with the black veins of death."

"Death?" 

"Yes- less so than earlier today, which is good. That means he’s healing."

"Did I do that?" 

"Yes!" 

"Wow." I smile so hard it hurts my face. Something I did, me, has actually helped. I done something good. I'm filled with a bit more strength, so I stand up straight and watch her closely. "So what, you started seeing auras when you were initiated?"

"Yes. Well, I could kind of sense them before the binding was removed," Grace says, moving her palm slowly over the area of the Hawk's forehead. "Some auras are so powerful they can be seen across dimensions," she continues. "It’s how some Kestrels track our enemies.”

"Have you never wanted to do that?"

"Heavens no!" She shakes her head firmly. "I love healing far too much."

"Okay, so if I got lost, you could track me by my aura?"

"Maybe, if I were a trained Kestrel." She steps back from the sleeping Hawk and I follow her out to the Medical Bay, where she goes straight to the sterilisation area to wash her hands. 

"What does it mean, having a powerful aura?" I copy her, covering my hands in strong smelling soap. "Does it do anything?"

"It doesn’t ‘do’ anything," she answers, shrugging. "Some say it augurs fame and good fortune. There are Sorcerers who dedicate their lives to reading and interpreting them but a lot is unknown. It's almost like wondering why some people have red hair or blue eyes- they just are that way. Doesn't mean anything, it's just something they were born with."