My boyfriend wants to be a cauliflower

Cauliflower crisis ~

Dear diary
~No emoticons cus its cereal~

Okay so...my boyfriend had just recently transitioned a few days ago - a transcauliflower! He'd been misgendered for a cabbage quite a while now and so he took it to  drastic measures...  He revealed it to me first because im specal to him and he knows it! it was rough but we made it through together, he'd suffered a lot of confusion and identity crisis, replacing his penis with cauliflower cheese had never been easy but i never doubted him and always believed yet i admit i was borderline anxious for his wellbeing though... alas we made it through....i repeat we made it through...t-together afterall.
He dosen't really appreciate me blurting his story out to peeps but um...imma bout to let you in on a secret...
H-hes...a c-cauliflower now!
And im not insensitive or untrustworthy cus im just looking out for him with yuh know...emotional support and the occasional anal sex. but my cauliflower bro needs the approval of others, apparently my opinion is invaled and biast for being his lover but its the truth right? he just needs to accept that hes a vegetable and that vege's have sex appeal!
Caulifower people although not as persitant as transvegans and cabbages have just as many rights as non-vege peeps, and plus hes pretty seductive vegetable with that cauliflower headdress... oh, and the way he rolls on my plate when hes horny is pretty hot too i guess.

Dear Diary T-T
~~~1 hour later ~~~

I dont understand why he refuses to acknowledge my existence
Just lately..maybe this new vegetable-him is gonna break up with me and date someones else i've invested so much time into this cauliflower i love him!
Ill suffer an existential crisis without him man!
What-d i do?
His cauliflower is a cauliflower now and everything FFFFFF-FUCKING REVOLVES AROUND CAULIFLOWERS! IM GETTING FORGOTTEN ABOUT BRO AND YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE I AM! IT HURTS HERE *GESTURES AWKWARDLY TO HEART* IT HURTS A LOT MAN, THIS USED TO BE SPECIAL YOUR CABBAGE PATCH USED TO MINE AND VICE VERSA. I SWEAR IF YOU FUCKING DATE A CABBAGE OR A TOMATO OR GOD FORBID YOU DATE A LONG BEAN.

*FLIPS TABLES* DO I NOT SATISFY YOU ANYMORE DADDY?, AM I BORING? HAVE I LOST THE APPEAL? DO OTHER CAULIFLOWERS ONLY APPEASE YOU NOW? DO VEGETABLES  PLEASURE YOUR ANUS BETTER THAN I DO?

DEAR DIARY MOTHERFUCKAR

I BROKE UP WITH THE STIPID CIBBIDOEOEM ANDIDIDKEJEIWOLEMEE

~to this very day, dick wankingspear was never seen again, the slur and typing errors could suggest many avid reasons for his death - an apparent suicide, a chicken seizure salad occurance or a murder.
His obvious strictly platonic relationship with a cauliflower may have been an adharent to this case although no reported evidence supports this.
Another conclusion suggests the consistent use of  emoticons caused severe brain damage and sent his brain into toxic shock, thus leading to a chicken seizure salad.
However theories of a bad break also coexist with our other outstanding theories, this cold unhearted prick chose vegetables over his lover - causing him to suicide of a bridge, although no specific dates or times have been recorded~

THE END MOFO