What Am I Doing With My Life

FeatherFairy

Dedicated to IridescentGizzards-- happy Valentine's Day!

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"Jason!"

Jason turned around from his spot on the floor, taking his head out of his hands. "D-Domino? Is that you?"

"Well, of course it's me, silly," Domino chided, skipping over to where the angel was sitting. "Who else would it be?"

Jason shrugged. "I- I don't know. I guess I just wasn't thinking straight."

Domino sighed, leaning down to wrap his arms around Jason's neck. He rested his head on top of Jason's fluffy blonde hair, feeling him shift underneath him.

"Don't you know what day it is?" Domino asked, a hint of playfulness in his voice.

"Does it matter?" Jason asked, ducking out of the fairy's embrace and slowly pushing himself to his feet. Something wasn't right. Something was off.

About this. About Domino. About everything.

"Oh, stop being such a downer," Domino teased, closing the distance that Jason had created. "It's Valentine's day, you idiot."

Jason bit his lip, shaking his head. "Is it really? I didn't even remember."

"That's okay," Domino said, grinning. "Because I did."

He pulled out a bouquet of white roses from behind his back, holding them out with a shy smile on his face. Jason felt himself grinning as he took the flowers from Domino. "They're beautiful."

Domino blushed. "They reminded me of you."

Now it was Jason's turn to feel the heat rising to his cheeks. "Thank you."

Domino leaned in and quickly planted a kiss on Jason's cheek. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Jason couldn't help it, his lips seemed to be forming a smile of their own accord. What had he been thinking earlier? Of course this was Domino, his sweet little fairy. Who else would've known that Jason had a weak spot for the exact kind of flowers that he held in his hands?

He raised the bouquet to his nose, inhaling their sweet scent. Like warm sugar cookies, reminding him of the ones that he'd made with Domino one long rainy afternoon. Like the vanilla aura that clung to the fairy's skin, which Jason loved to be pressed against. Like...like the tangy smell of iron, of rust. 

Wrinkling his nose, Jason pulled the flowers away from his face. As he watched in horror, red droplets began to spread along the delicate white surface, staining the petals crimson.

"Domino?" Jason said nervously. "What's going on?"

When he didn't respond, Jason looked up to the figure in front of him.

"D-Domino?" he said, beginning to shake as his eyes took in the sight in front of him.

The fairy, previously neatly dressed and full of excitement, now stood hunched over with a look of agony on his face. Jason took a hurried step forward, but Domino held up a hand.

"Stay back," he said, his voice hoarse.

"What happened to you?" Jason gasped, hating the way that Domino was shuddering in pain.

Domino looked up at Jason, his brown eyes searching Jason's. He parted his trembling lips, a trickle of red blood dribbling onto the floor. On Domino's back, Jason could see that the perky wings that had been there only moments before were now a bloody mess. One of them looked like it had been ripped clean off, and the the other was a shredded disaster hanging limply off of him. 

As Jason watched, Domino slowly fell to his knees. He licked his lips, the tip of his tongue stained red. "Don't you remember?" he asked quietly. "Forgetting Valentine's Day is one thing, but this..."

Jason shook his head. "No! This isn't happening!"

Ignoring Domino's pleas, Jason rushed to kneel by the fairy's side. He reached out to put his hand on Domino's shoulder to reassure him, but quickly pulled back when Domino started to flicker. 

"This is it," Domino breathed, face twisted in pain. "This is the end."

"What are you saying?" Jason cried.

"You know," Domino said, falling into a coughing fit before composing himself again. "You know what happens next."

Jason did know. He knew, and every fiber of his being wished that he didn't. He knew what happened next because it had already happened. Once for real, and endless times in his nightmares. How had he managed to convince himself that it was just a dream, that the Domino he had seen only minutes ago was real? Oh, how he wished that it could've been.

Instead, he was left with the broken Domino, gently crying only inches away. There was nothing that Jason could do, no way to change what fate had already decided. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking down at his knees.

He felt a soft hand cup his cheek, and he glanced up to see Domino staring into his eyes.

"It's okay," he said, his voice weak. "I forgive you."

"But- but why?" Jason sobbed. "Why do you forgive me, over and over and over, no matter what I do? No matter how much pain I put you through?"

"Because," Domino replied, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. "I love you."

Suddenly, Domino's body began to shudder. Jason held him close as he continued convulsing in his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered as the image of Domino in front of him began to fade. "I'm so, so sorry."

Within moments, Domino had dissappeared completely. Not even the puddle of blood on the ground remained. Jason was alone again, empty as always. Then again, he'd been alone from the start. He couldn't imagine a life unlike the one that he lived, no matter how miserable it turned out to be. Yet he never fallen this low before. Never been pushed to such a point that he was hallucinating if only to not be all by himself.

Wiping away a tear from his eye, Jason stumbled to his feet. Where did he even go from here? And where, exactly, was he?

Then again, did any of it even matter?

Stuffing his hands in his coat pockets, Jason began to wander forward, not even caring where he was going. His head hung low, tracing the dirt that surrounded his dull black shoes. However, he stopped when something caught his eye. A flash of white in the monotony.

Bending down, he picked up the object on the desolate ground: a single white rose. 

He brushed the dirt off of it, seeing that Its condition was otherwise still pristine. He held the flower close to his face, inhaling deeply. It smelled like Domino. It smelled like home.

Taking the long stem nimbly in his fingers, Jason snapped it half, throwing the non-floral end behind him. He gently placed the flower in the lapel of his jacket, glancing down at it to admire its beauty. And it truly was beautiful. 

So white, so innocent. Everything that he and Domino used to be. Everything that he and Domino could never be.

A sad smile playing at his lips, Jason looked back to where he'd seen Domino standing moments ago.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Domino," he said. Then he turned around and continued to walk into the darkness of the void.