Floating

We Used to Talk

We used to talk... there wasn't a day went by I didn't know her mood. She was an open door, with a rush of fresh air that smelled like freedom. Her eyes would tell me the truth, and even flashing with anger I felt I had a home in her heart. I'd lean on every word, every lilting syllable like I was a baby, being sung to sleep. Each time she'd reach for me I knew I was safe. I was safe because she was safe. I'd be safe as long as she was talking. One day we opened a door. I felt that rush of freedom again and I thought for once... I could be happy... safe. But it wasn't safe because at that point I was opened to scrutiny. At that point I was open to the bears and the lions outside that door... and I was eaten. It wasn't safe. And I tried to get back up and I tried to ask the best questions and by the gods I tried to do right by her... but her eyes lied to me. It wasn't safe... and it didn't smell so free anymore. I broke my bed in ponderous thought, I left an imprint of my depression there, and when my friends watched me crack they had no precedent for this... because I was always the strong one. I always dug them out... I always made them feel safe. But I was eaten... we don't talk anymore