Do Better

Prologue

Jhene

Here we all stood; in the plain, yet memorable, hallway of the Wells Fargo Arena. Everything shouted that this wasn't where it should end. The faint aching I could feel in my chest told me that it would all change after tonight. However, reality chose otherwise.

"God damn, that went fast..." Aubrey shouted, gathering the remains of the people who had stayed after the show, and grabbed two bottles of champagne, walking back over to where we all stood behind the stage. "That being said, I'd like to make a toast to the end of the tour, and the beginning of much more to come." He finished. We all clinked our glasses simutaneously, then sipped down the alcohol, allowing it to wash down our throats.

Philly had made the mark for the end of Would You Like A Tour, and it was truly an unforgettable experience. I couldn't help but allow so much sorrow to take over my thoughts.

I had grown so accustomed to this new lifestyle; the tour bus had become my temporary home, and Ryan and OB's company reminded me of my brother. I felt so welcomed by the entire OVO crew. But most importantly, I had grown so close to Aubrey... I knew that it was all going to go back to the way it was before this whole journey by tomorrow morning. As I was losing myself in my own thoughts, flashbacks of all the nights I had spent trying to think of lyrics to new songs flooded my mind. I had so much trouble writing during the whole tour. I had ridiculous writer's block, it felt like I was braindead. Then it all hit me like a ton of bricks, the reason I wasn't able to write like I usually did in the last was because, for the first time in a long time, I was happy... There were no heartbreaks, no bad memories to make me want to write.

"Jhene?" My head shot up, the voice scaring the living hell out of me. I turned to see OB standing behind me struggling with three boxes in his arms. "Could you grab one of these and help me carry it out back?"

"Of course." I felt a bit embarrassed that I had been standing there, lost in my thoughts, while everyone else had went to whatever it was that they always did after each show. I walked over to him and slid the top box off and followed him with it in my arms. "What's in these anyways?"

"Just some extra merchandise." He bluntly replied. My heart dropped when we walked outside to the tour bus. This was the last time I'd be seeing it.

We sat the boxes on the ground by another truck where some unfamiliar guys were loading everything up. Rather than standing there, I decided to go into the dressing room and change out of the dress that I wore on stage.

Sliding into a pair of skinny jeans, a plain white camisole, and a black vasity jacket, I looked down at the couch that sat mindlessly against the back wall. A piece of merchandise sat there, effortlessly, reminding me of the night that put it there.

"Damn it." I cursed under my breath, but not quiet enough to prevent Aubrey from hearing. We were standing in the foyer of a breathtaking hotel in the city of Los Angeles, anticipating some rest after the show at the Staples Center.

"What's wrong?" He turned to look at me, concern evident from his expression.

"I forgot my room key. It's back at the arena. I've gotta go grab it." I turned to leave the building but his hand around my arm stopped me from doing so.

"Don't worry about it, you can stay in my room. The arena's too far away."

"Alright." Offering a smile, I silently thanked him.

We got in the elevator, and Aubrey hit the button '24'. It made a dinging noise and I felt the floor moving beneath my feet, going up then back down.

Once we made it to the correct floor, I realized not only did I forget my key, but I forgot one of my bags too.

"Hey, Aubrey?"

"Yeah?" He turned to face me after pushing the door open, allowing the AC to hit me, sending chills through my body.

"I forgot my overnight bag. Do you have anything I could sleep in by any chance?" I cursed under my breathe at my clumsiness, but Aubrey seemed unbothered by it.

"I have this. I'm not sure if you wanna sleep in it," He held up a black t-shirt with his face from the Nothing Was The Same album cover on it, which was also a piece of the WYLAT merchandise, "You can wear one of my t-shirts if you want. They might not fit as well as this."

"That'll be great." His grasp on the shirt loosened once I took ahold of it.

Walking into the bathroom, I stripped of everything except my underwear. I pulled the t-shirt over my head, letting it fall loosely around my figure while I looked in the mirror at the man on my shirt, letting my mind go elsewhere...

I immeditately stopped myself from continuing to think about the memories. Knowing it would only make me feel worse than I was already feeling, I walked out of the dressing room and into the hallway.

"Where are you going?" I looked up to see Aubrey in front of me, wiping his face with a towel.

"I was just gonna go out for a bit, you know, just to clear my mind." I mentally cursed myself for saying too much, knowing he'd ask what was going on.

"Clear your mind of what?" Shit.

"I didn't mean that, um.. I just saw this place downtown and thought I'd check it out before we left." Good enough excuse.

"Oh, alright. I'll see you later then?" He asked, seeming to believe my little white lie.

"Yeah." I forced a fake smile and rushed out the door before I had myself even more obvious.

-

I ordered a shot of liquor, sipped it down quickly, then repeated the process a few more times until my problems seemed to disappear for a little while.

After having a fair amount of alcohol, or should I say temporary mind distraction, I sat down at a poker table after buying in. I knew playing while under the influence was a terrible idea but in the time of the moment, I didn't even question my actions.

"You know how to play, sweetheart?" A man at the table asked, raising his eyebrow. He was probably in this thirties, wearing a Bobcats t-shirt, a blue baseball cap, and denim jeans. His posture showed off how cocky he was, and he talked smack on everyone at the table; utter douche bag.

I nodded, taking no offense to his question. It's usual for men to underestimate women for playing cards, which made me feel that much more confident.

By the thirteenth hand, I had proven myself enough. I gained a couple hundred, feeling like it was enough for tonight. I had only played Texas Hold'em a couple of times with my sisters, only for fun. This was my first time playing in a casino. But truth be told, I came to get my mind on something else, not to win any money. Fortunately, I seemed to have a good poker face by the looks of the other men trying to figure out my hand.

Standing up to cash my chips in for money, I shoved the money into the pocket of my varsity jacket. Afterwards, I headed out of the building and outside, harshly greeted by the cold air of Philadelphia. My vision was a blur, but all I could think about was what had just happened. I'd always been tought the negative side affects of gambling, so experiencing it was a shock to me. It just felt like the game was for me. My only worries were that I wouldn't become addicted...