'You were my world, and when you were gone... I had nothing left to live for'
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I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. It had been three weeks since Lucky came back and I still wasn't used to it.
I mean... How could I get used to it? He just reappeared out of nowhere and that's not something I'm willing to overlook.
You can't just come back into my life and mend things as if nothing ever happened?
I tried to distract myself from thoughts about him but nothing seemed to work. How cliché. The only person I'd rather not think about can't seem to get the fuck out of my head.
I groaned at how stupid I was being. Honestly, I could literally shoot myself right now for thinking about Lucky.
He didn't deserve a place in my life after what he did. He ruined me too good, and it hurt.
It hurt but I learnt not to give myself away anymore. It sucks how in this the world the only way you can learn is to be hurt over, and over again.
To the point where you don't even risk yourself anymore. He made me like this and seeing him absolutely triggers me.
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Lucky had been gracious enough to enrol himself back into the school. But thank God he isn't in the majority of my classes.
He was late so he got put into the lower classes so I don't have to look at him thankfully.
Everyday I avoid him as much as possible, I can't stand to look at him.
I sometimes watch his blonde hair disappear around a corner or watch him at his locker, he doesn't seem to realise I notice the little things.
I hear his laugh and it breaks my heart, I don't show it though because I refuse to make myself look vulnerable.
I'm glad he left, it gave me some time to heal from the wounds he gave me. Emotionally of course.
"Y/n", Mr Watson interrupted my thoughts,
"Yes sir?", I looked at him sadly,
"How do we find the hypotenuse?", he looked at me expectantly,
"We use Pythagorus' theorem", I said knowing I had showed him up, his expression turns sour before he nods and proceeds with the lecture, I smirk.
"Oi y/n, I have some news", Tayla leaned in next to me,
"Yeah what?", I asked keen to know,
"I hear Lucky is getting with Tia", she rolls her eyes, I chuckle. Tia has been known to have her legs open 24/7, if you're on the football/baseball or basketball team,
She's probably fucked you. Twice.
"Honestly, I'm not even surprised, he probably just wants her for sex. I've heard she gives good head", I laughed. Tayla snorted at my comment,
"True, she can't keep her legs closed," Tayla and I chortled, I turned around to look at the bimbo who seemed completely oblivious to the both of us.
We were soon cut-off by the bell,
"See you tomorrow?", she smiles packing away her books,
"10/10", I winked at her before I escaped the stuffy room, fumbling with my car keys, I ran into something rather hard,
"Oof", I felt all the wind in my lungs escape on impact,
"Fuck!"
I didn't even have to look up to see who it was.
"Y/n...", I could hear the tension in his voice, I looked up but not at him,
"Lucky..." Does he ever see where he's going?
"How are you?", he asked,
"I told you, talk to me when you have something better to say", I snapped, he didn't deserve my kindness,
"I don't care, I want to know how you are and I'd like an answer", He tried to get me to look him in the eyes, I refused.
"I'm fine, now move it you're wasting my time. I have to go," I tried to move past him but he blocked my way,
"Dammit Y/n! I told you I was sorry, I'm being sincere, why can't you let it go?", He half-shouted, I jumped at his sudden tone.
"Let it go? Are you serious? After what you did to me, you expect me to just forgive you?", I was honestly so offended right now,
"What happened was completely out of my control", he ran his hand through his hair,
"No it wasn't. You could've easily controlled the situation but your dick thought otherwise", I spat, he looked away ashamed,
"I-I... She meant nothing to me", he tried to grab my hands but I moved them away,
"Don't touch me", I felt tears well-up in my eyes,
"I felt so lonely at the time y/n...", His voice cracked.
"Yeah, but you still did it and I can't accept that. Being drunk still doesn't give you an excuse to turn your back on me. I was dying and I needed you with me by my side."
I could now feel tears slowly start to trickle down my cheeks, Lucky was quiet.
"I was hurting in more than one way and you were the cause. I didn't need heartbreak to be apart of why I was dying. But you were selfish, just like you always are and you decided that I wasn't enough for you. There I was in a fucking hospital bed wondering where you were..."
I looked at his face, the only emotion vacant was guilt.
"I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry," his voice was trembling now, a single tear began rolling down his pale cheeks. He looked like he hadn't slept in months.
"You don't deserve to see me like this and frankly, you have made me cry enough. I'm over it." I wiped away the tears with my sleeve.
"I don't expect you to take me back... But put me at ease with forgiveness. I can't live knowing you hate me forever y/n... ", his eyes were bloodshot.
"You'll know when you're forgiven. Because when you get the hell out of my life, that is when I will forgive you,"
And with that, I brushed past him and kept walking never to turn back...
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Well that was deep... I'm sorry for being away so long, I hope you guys didn't miss me too much. I've been so damn busy but since it's the holidays now I can finally relax aye. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, do not worry; I WILL BE POSTING A PART 3!
Love,
Vanilllakilllaa
