√memories√

house of memories

The sun was warming me up, making my blood boil and bringing back to life all of his words, like vapor running away from the water, confused and chaotic.
Words tumbled on each others, fighting and bumping like a solar system gone crazy, planets losing their orbits throwing themselves in chaos.
Fragments of silence too long stopped the fireworks like a 25th hour only accessible to my mind, when the rest of the wolrd was sleeping and i could wander alone in that apocalyptic world.
The grass under my finger had gotten so far away, the rumour of their laughs had became so useless, the wheels of cars that kept running were suddenly so obsolete.

"You always look angry or bored" "you ask too much" "read again what u fukkin wrote" "why is it so important to you?" "Answer me" "i'd be an hypocrite" "can we just stay in silence?" "If i talk to you, you leave" "stay still" "you're stupid" "you can't do anything without me" "i dont want you to hang out with anybody" "or what?" "You don't have permission to go back" "i'm keeping you for me" "if you hurt yourself i'll beat you" "don't talk to him" "i'm jealous if you go out and have fun i suck"

It kept screaming in my head and i didn't know how to stop it. All those words were confusing me, but i liked them so much i had been carrying them with me for years. I tried to erase 'em all to judge with no prejudices but i had been falling asleep to their warmth so often it was too difficult to let them go. I so wanted to throw them out but wished they'd stay.
I let myslef fall to the ground underneath, all those memories scratched away against my will from my tired brain who didn't have the force to keep holding no longer.
They were flowing out of my lips while i was grinning my teeth as i wished i could bite them and swallow what wanted to run away as far as possible.
"Just try it".