I could feel it all. The pressure. Coming to me as an unstoppable train and i couldn't move out of his way.
2 meters between us and a whole ocean was running in front of me, the stream too strong to cross, the water too cold and i didn't want to dive in.
He saw me and he immediately knew something was wrong. I wasn't moving, that blue was still there and not disappearing any time sooner.
I thought of him in my lonely moments, blaming myself for being such an opportunistic person.
I could feel it all, the pressure
I didn't understand how much I missed him, but I could feel it all now.
He wasn't smiling anymore, but his gaze kept shouting at me, maybe that blank period meant nothing for him.
He was still the same, while i was changing too fast.
A couple days were enough to find a stranger in me, i felt him distant while he didn't notice my change of blood. I was gasping, deep in my mourn, my sanity 100 feets underground.
It felt impossible that pain assaulting me, that fear and scent.
I was sick. I definitely was and my legs were getting weaker and weaker. He was still there and i was still scared.
A long time had passed. Too much.
What if he gets disappointed in me? What if he understood my act and that im just starting to notice my days spent wanting him? What if he notices im not capable of doing what I want to and that I'm always craving for more? What if he understood i was afraid that he was going to treat me as he always did even if i wanted him too but at the same time everything would have been different and then he hugged me and my thoughts just disapp....
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√memories√
Casualei cant remember what i was talking about. maybe you maybe me maybe us. they just keep popping up, in the most inappropriate moments. i hate them so much i wish i could just extirpate them from my mind like you do with dead flowers. my memories are...
