I binged.
Cupcakes,
Nutella,
Chocolate,
Chinese takeout,
It felt so good as I was shovelling the food into my mouth.
I knew before I started that I was going to regret it.
But I didn't care.
I came down from the high.
Staring into the empty bowl of Chinese food sitting in my lap and the cupcake wrappers littered around me.
What have I done.
I cried for a whole hour.
The whole day I hadn't eaten more than 1000 calories, even at this point but I didn't care.
I was a failure.
I am a failure.
I ran into the bathroom.
I turned on the shower and some loud music.
And I stuck my fingers down my throat.
I gaged on my boney fingers over and over, but I couldn't do it.
As much as I tried, I couldn't throw up.
So I just sat on the floor of the shower.
Crying.
So I hugged myself.
Because no one was going to do it for me.
And I hated myself.
But I already got plenty of that from everyone else.
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A/N hey guys. I tried so hard this week but today I cracked. I failed ana. I'm going to work it off tho. Just needed to vent before I did something stupid.
Stay safe and stay thin. x
-N
YOU ARE READING
My sad poetry that no one will read✌🏻️
PoetryLeaving this book up as a reminder of how far I've come. Pro recovery, recover or die, it's not worth the pain and suffering. You are deserving of food, you are deserving of life and you are loved. If everyone who read this book is anorexic, statis...
